There are many reasons to NOT foster children. Your home may feel complete already (or too full), you may not be in a place with jobs to give time to another child, you may be scared of the possibility of the children returning back to their birth families.
Some people are not interested in foster care because of the vast spectrum of "issues" that have affected / are affecting children who are removed from their biological homes. I've had people say, "You're going to end up with a kid who has been exposed to drugs," or "They probably have been abused," or, "They'll have all kinds of behavioral issues," unfortunately, even, "You can't control which race of kid you end up with." My answers are always: "Yes!" and "So?"
We have decided that our stance on placements is to be open. If God put it in the minds of our caseworker to contact us, we'll trust that it was because of His intervention. We want to care for and love on the kids, period. I'm the one who gets THE CALLS since I'm more readily available during the day than my husband. The Man of the House has pretty much given me carte blanche to accept any child about whom we are contacted. Barring a huge and obvious reason to decline, we've decided that we won't say no to a placement.
That may seem scary, to accept a new addition to your family on a moment's notice, and it is, but we believe firmly that we are being called to this path in life. That means we accept how God wants the path to be, not how we originally thought it would be.
Yes, the kids who need foster care placements have "histories". These kids were removed from their homes for serious reasons. Many of them have dealt with the effects of substance abuse, physical or sexual abuse, and neglect. We've seen and experienced a lot through our fostered and adopted kids. And the race issue is a whole other post, but yes, a child presented to you for fostering might not be "your" race.
This is the thought that tears at our hearts: If not us, then who? If everyone had the mindset that, yes, these kids need homes, but someone else will be better at it, then nobody would come forward to help.
The Man of the House and I have had tough situations because of what our children went through before they came to us. It's difficult to watch, and difficult to help guide and grow a child who has seen or experienced more than they should have. Yet, there is love. There are moments of sunshine that make it all worth it. It wasn't easy, but you keep the ultimate goal in mind: there's remembering that you gave a child a safe place, even if for a little while. Obviously you hope and pray that the children stay with you permanently. However, even if they leave, you know you played a part in the rehabilitation of their parents. Without that time for them to work and get the help they need, the situation might be even more dangerous.
If you are thinking about fostering, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, even if I don't know you at this moment in time. It is a tough path to choose, I know. But doable - the obstacles are not insurmountable! If you have any anxieties about what you're getting into, or any questions, please feel free to message me.
As we wait for our next placement, we trust in God that He will direct the path of the little one(s) coming to our home. We ask for strength and patience to deal with any situation He hands to us. We know "I can do all things, through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)
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