Little Guy's Story

Previously in family fostering history...

The Man of the House and I had fostered Miss A and learned we would be adopting her. We had fostered Spunky Girl and Preemie Boy and learned they would be going home. I've talked in previous posts about how we respect the decisions made regarding the outcome of our cases, even if we don't agree with those outcomes. We support the foster care system and want to do our part, and understand the risks involved. That didn't make it easy to say good-bye to Spunk Girl and Preemie Boy. It was disheartening and discouraging at the time. Our placement caseworker asked us if we wanted further placements, and, after discussing it, we expressed to her that at that time we needed a bit of time to enjoy loving on Miss A. We would be interested in another placement in the future after we had time to grieve and reflect on where our journey had taken us over the past year.

October, November, December, and January went by. Miss A's third birthday came and went in January. The Man of the House and I had a talk one night that we might be feeling up to contacting our caseworker and letting her know we were available for a placement.

A few days later, I received a CALL at school from the caseworker. She had a four-month-old Hispanic baby boy who needed emergency placement that day. Were we willing to take him in? I said yes, and actually first called our favorite retired-school-teacher-child-care-provider, Mrs. C, who had watched Preemie Boy for a while for us, just to see if she could care for Little Guy for a while, until we could get daycare figured out. After that, I ran to find The Man of the House. :-) He was extremely excited, obviously ready to enjoy having another boy around the house.

When Little Guy arrived at our house, he was all beautiful cocoa skin and big eyes. I had had enough time for a blazing race through Target for diapers, wipes, formula, and maybe three outfits. We already had some baby boy bedding from when Preemie Boy was with us. His clothes, however, were way too small for our new four-month-old. (Thankfully, our Pastor's wife and another church friend brought over some clothes, both grandmas came through, and we had some other clothes given by The Man of the House's cousin. God is great!)

What I remember most about those first few days was how much Little Guy CRIED!!!! During that whole first day, I don't think he slept one minute, but shrieked and wailed the entire time as I tried to soothe and calm him. By the second or third day, things were much better. It is completely obvious that even babies are incredibly aware of their surroundings and aware when things are shaken up. I can't imagine being that little and already living in three different homes - how earthshaking that must be.

Little guy's situation was complicated. His birthfather was never in the picture. His teenaged birthmother was also in care away from home. She and her family had decided to place Little Guy outside their home for his safety, based on various risks at that place. This placement wasn't actually a family member, or even a friend, but an unofficial placement with a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend situation that wasn't working out. Little Guy had developed some medical issues at his new placement, where he had lived for the past two months. The thought in placing him with us was that they were giving this other placement some time to "clear her name" so to speak, and show that the placement was deemed safe enough to be officially approved by the department. He would probably go back quickly, but nothing was set in stone.

There were court hearings and appearances over the next few months. Little Guy grew bigger and very attached to us. At each court day, there were no updates on the status of the former placement, but the caseworkers were happy with his care at our home, so he stayed. Finally, four months later, the judge ordered him to stay with us throughout his birthmom's case, as further changes would be too much of an uprooting for him.

Several months later, his birthmother came to court and wanted to talk with me. She said she had decided she wanted us to adopt Little Guy and was ready to terminate her rights and end the case. She said the sweetest, kindest things to me about how we had done so much for him and she felt so comfortable with us and was so happy for our family. In the blink of an eye, this case that began so complicated-like seemed to resolve itself without a murmur.

Of course, the judge wouldn't allow her to sign the papers that day, but asked her to contemplate this big decision and wait until the next hearing. Her mind did not change, and two months later, we were beginning the adoptive placement of Little Guy's time with us.

We kept in contact with his birthmother, even taking her out to eat for Little Guy's second birthday. We have no real worries about continuing this relationship; she is just a young girl who was being swept up in the choices her family members had made. She is working hard to make a life for herself. We feel compassion and overwhelming gratitude for her courage and generosity towards our family. She gave us a wonderful gift for which we are humbly thankful.

This past year, she was placed in another new placement (her third since Little Guy's birth) and we have lost contact. We have heard that she is not doing as well in her personal life, and are refraining from contact at this point until she is better.

Little Guy's adoption became official in our town in December 2012. The judge was not our regular judge, and not even a family court or adoption judge. He told us this was a rare treat for him from his criminal cases and asked for a picture with us, which he promised was going on his office wall. We had a great time with family and celebrated with a yummy lunch together.

Miss A adjusted immediately to Little Guy's coming, and they have been inseparable. They are siblings through and through and, besides their outward appearances, one would never guess that they weren't genetically related. They hug on each other and wrestle each other, and never forget to thank God for each other in their prayers. We were truly blessed with this addition to our family.