We arrived and there was a brief orientation with all of the families. The biggest things the organizers stressed to us was not to discuss adoption or give any false hope to the children. We were just told to enjoy the time and discuss general topics of school and likes/dislikes. If we were interested in a certain child or sibling group, we were to discuss it later with our caseworkers.
It made me wonder about the individual experiences of the children coming to the event. How much was each one told about what was happening? Were they excited? Nervous? Annoyed? Sad to think about leaving their current living situations?
When the children got there at around 10:00 am, we all headed into a gym. Various tables and areas were set up with activities - plastic bowling pins, a ring toss, hula hoops, bean bag toss, basketball and football throws, a clown performing magic tricks, a balloon artist, along with a DJ. We were assigned to help with the bowling table, but there was no person overseeing the shifts, so we meandered around the room with Miss A and Little Guy, checking out the different activities. After about thirty minutes, we went to the table and began helping another couple with the bowling and ring toss.
I counted about forty adults, which I was assuming meant somewhere between twenty and thirty families. One of my wonderings before the event was the ratio of kids to families; would there be way too many families and it would be a "competition" to see who could talk the quickest and smoothest to caseworkers? The Man of the House kept (jokingly) saying that "it's not a competition" (a common quote at our house). It's difficult not to feel anxious, though, when you're waiting for a new addition to your family, and you're in an environment with so many others going through the same experience. Does that sound callous? Please don't think that the event was cutthroat, or that our attitudes were - just an interesting dynamic. Almost everyone was incredibly friendly and eager to chit-chat as we all mingled around the room.
I say ALMOST everyone, because I was uncomfortable a couple of times. I had two women come up and try to talk to Miss A, sizing her up as if she were a potential adoptee. At the beginning of the morning, one lady kept butting in front of me and trying to open a paint bottle for her while Miss A was decorating a pumpkin, then five minutes later she was trying to teach her how to throw a basketball while we were playing together as a family. Now, the adoptive families were all supposed to wear red, and Miss A was properly attired, so it should have been obvious that she was not there to be adopted, but I guess maybe a few people missed the memo. I definitely had a twinge of annoyance and when one (different) woman boldly came up and began asking her questions about herself and then asked me, "So, she IS available, right?" I responded as sweetly as possible, "No, that's my daughter." She apologized and walked away, but a few minutes later, I saw her speaking to another adorable little girl, maybe a year older than Miss A, and then proceed to be glued to that little girl for the rest of the event, as if to state "I'm claiming this one - off limits!"
It sounds so silly and almost embarrassing to be sharing that this was what was going through my mind at the time. However, I am just being honest. I pray for God to give me a good attitude throughout this time, patience with the situation, and His Spirit of peace. It doesn't come naturally to us humans, does it?
We had a good time playing around, and some of the kids were really funny. The ages of the children were what I had expected, though; older than what we could really consider adopting. I saw one or two that looked to be our kids' ages, and the others were school-aged or older. We enjoyed spending time with them, of course, and you can tell how much most of these kids just are sponges for attention and affirmation. One boy behind us in the balloon artist line said he was in 8th grade, and we got onto the subject of Harry Potter and he proceeded to quote Harry Potter lines for the next few minutes. We were cracking up together at everything he said.
It tugs at your heart excruciatingly to see these kids and read information about their lives. With every child, you wonder about their full stories, how they came into care, what experiences have they been forced to face, how they are coping, and on and on. We people with only (somewhat) "normal" dysfunctions in our families can never fully appreciate the hurts these kids have dealt with. Hubs and I have talked about adopting older kids - meaning middle schoolers or teenagers - later on in life. At this point, we're thirty-one and thirty-two years old, and the age difference just isn't big enough. To walk around and observe these kids, knowing how badly they need a family too, and know that it isn't the time yet feels deflating.
At 1:00 pm, it was time to pack up. Cleaning didn't take a long time, so after a quick fix on our alligator balloon from the balloon lady (who was AWESOME, by the way!), we were ready to go. We were all given a booklet with pictures and basic information about the kids who attended the event. The Man of the House and I paged through it on the way home, attempting to read and keep the kids awake so they could have full naps at home (didn't happen).
We ended up sending an e-mail to our caseworker about three possibilities - a sibling group of two (one boy, 5; one girl, 4), another sibling group of two (two girls, 3 and 4), and a three-year-old boy. We let her know of our interest and asked her to let us know about their statuses. We're really hopeful that something will work out with one of the situations, so we'll keep praying.
I've been building this event up in my mind, and hoping that it is the answer to our prayers, the path on which we find the next addition(s?) to our family. I'm working hard on keeping an attitude of trust and peace in what God's will is for our family. He has the exact children planned for our home, and the exact timing of their entrances to it. We are so excited to see what comes next. Please pray for us as we wait. I'll keep updating!
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