Trial Dates Are Set

The twins' court hearing happened today to announce further dates in the trial. I ended up deciding not to attend, since it was so far away and no discussion was really taking place there. Here's what came out of the day:

•  May 29th: Mediation Hearing (Lawyers, caseworkers, and family members come together to work on details of the trial, including potentially settling out of court - which is highly unlikely to happen)

• June 9th: Trial will begin at District Court 

We also learned the unfortunate news that the foster family caring for the other sibling group of two has given notice that they would like the children to be removed and placed with another foster family. This is obviously very disappointing, since we already knew that Big Sister has changed placements already because of various issues. These kids have been through so much in their short lives, from being removed from their home of origin, to being removed from their potential adoptive home, to being put in a shelter before being placed into foster homes separately...  Aching isn't the word to describe how my heart feels for these five kids.

Apparently, though, at the court appearance, it was discussed that WE would be the best and most logical placement for these two children. So when the lawyer called me to relay the dates of the trial, she asked if we would be willing to take them on.

Uh, wow.

My head was spinning in so many directions. (It still is, several hours later.) This would mean SIX kids under the age of six in our home, when we had only two with us five months ago. That would mean, besides the twins, Little Guy, and Miss A, we would have a 1-year-old as well as a 3-year-old who is literally only one week younger than our son, which would be virtually like having two sets of twins. Ai-yi-yi.

Realistically, we need to say no. We can't overburden our already busy and overflowing household. It wouldn't be unfair to Miss A and Little Guy, whom we KNOW will be with us for the long run.

And yet, my heart breaks to have to decline. The fact that these kids are separated through no fault of their own pains me. I want so badly to say yes. I want to give them the love they haven't known yet. I want to know they will understand what "home" really means. I want them to know what "safe" really means.

Aaahhh.......

Please don't think I'm absolutely crazy for having even considered this. I am not in denial about how hard it would have been to make this a reality. From housing to transportation to emotional stability to marriage health - it would be incredibly complicated, I know. Yet, my overwhelming feeling is guilt at my human frailties, disappointment at NOT being able to be a Superhero and make this happen for these kids.

Anyway, it's always an interesting ride here at our house. We know that God has blessed us with this life, and we are so honored and humbled that He has entrusted us with the kids we have, and the gifts He has given us. What a comfort to know we are never alone.

We'd appreciate prayers for the entire situation, all of the upheavals and uncertainty of the future. The story has already been written - we're just awaiting its playing out.