Monday, February 8, 2016

8 Things I Want My Kids to Learn from Cam Newton

The Super Bowl. Whether you watch it for the game or for the commercials, or not at all, you probably at least knew it was happening last night.

One of the things that many people will be talking about from Super Bowl is the Panther's quarterback Cam Newton's post-game press conference. He was obviously upset with the loss, as anyone would be. After answering with mostly one-word responses, he abruptly left the interview area after less than three minutes.

If you didn't see the press conference, here is a clip I found, in which you can hear the interview questions.


Obviously, being a Colorado native, I was beyond excited for the Broncos' victory. My family and I had a great time watching an intriguing game, and were definitely in a celebratory mood afterwards. However, seeing this interview live immediately following the game, and watching it several more times, I had so many thoughts running through my head that I had to write them down. I know this is a lot different than what I usually write, but here goes!

This is not a Cam Newton bashing post.

I've been seeing this interview online, shared on Facebook, comments building up literally as I fast as I can read them. Most of them are negative and use words and phrases like "crybaby", "temper tantrum", and "lacking maturity". I even saw one headline - "The Incredible Sulk." Life is too short for negativity. I'm just desiring to share my thoughts. My kids, as well as the students and young people I see, will probably have seen this and be talking about it. (If they're not still talking about the puppy-monkey-baby commercial.) These are some of the points I would want to share with my own kids after seeing the video.

1. Life jumps from good days to not-so-good days quickly!
One day, you're named the NFL MVP. The next day, you lose a Super Bowl. Life happens. The old saying, "This too shall pass" is applicable in all situations. Remember that something different could be always around the corner - for better or for worse. Have the resilience to be able to tell yourself, "My story's not over yet."

2. It's awesome to be passionate about what you love!
The word show-boating may be thrown around in connection to Cam - and to be fair, other professional athletes as well - but, in the interest of staying positive, let's focus on the fact that he's super-passionate. No one could accuse Cam Newton of hiding his feelings. Doing what you always wanted to be doing is such a tremendous feeling - and a huge blessing! Live in the moment! Be grateful and ENJOY what you have got going for you!

3. Having a good attitude in winning and losing is a difficult feat.
It's easy to be excited when things are going your way. Everyone knows the feelings they felt on their bad days, and would much rather be living the good days instead.  But people REALLY don't like poor sportsmanship - from the winning or losing side. If you win, "Act like you've been there before and you'll be there again," says my Daddy. And, it goes without saying, nobody likes losing. When you lose, besides being angry or frustrated, you may feel horrible and are simply acting hard on yourself, but wallowing in those feelings won't help. Nobody will hate you for losing if you tried your hardest. Analyze what you can do differently next time, allow yourself the grace of forgiveness, and focus on the future. No one can come out on top every time; when it's your turn as a non-winner, acknowledge it, doing your best to swallow any sour grapes you may feel. Learn and move on. Whether you tell yourself, "Suck it up", or "Man up," or "Put on your big girl underwear," DO IT!

4. Don't allow your emotions to dictate your actions.
You can't let anger, frustration, or tiredness rule you, allowing you to be less than the standards you have for yourself. We all feel it. We've all done it. Doesn't make it okay. You don't have to be happy, but be civil. This does relate back to point #2 - passionate people have passionate responses. But don't let that passion rule you - use it to spur yourself on to greater things.

5. There will always be people to judge you and how you act. Sometimes you'll do things that, looking back, you wish you had done differently.
An interview lasting a couple of minutes now has people chit-chatting all over the country. I can't imagine that what Cam Newton wanted the nation to remember most about him from Super Bowl Sunday would be that sullen attitude he showed in those news clips following the game. However, that's what people are talking about today. This is one reason to carefully check the words coming out of your mouth, and your attitude and demeanor in all situations, so you have nothing to regret later on. Most of us won't see the publicity on this grand of a scale that professional athletes face, but we can make sure our interactions are positive, regardless of our moods and emotions.

5. Sure, sometimes people only hear one side... But that side will stick with them.
In an interview with Today, Peyton Manning had only good things to say about his interaction with Cam after the game. Quote from PM:
"Sure I tell ya, Cam couldn't have been nicer to me. He was extremely humble. He congratulated me, wished me the best. I told him just congratulations on his outstanding season and just what a great future he has ahead of him. He'll be back in that game, I can promise ya. So, I've been on that side of it. It is tough -- it is not an easy pill to swallow. But he was very nice to me and I really appreciated that."
However, walking off less than three minutes into a press conference will erase any good vibes about you in the collective memory of America's online commentators - professional and amateur. Perception isn't everything, but it is something. What will your legacy be?

6. Sometimes it seems like you're just being hit when you're down. Rise above.
Listening to the reporters and their questions - "How do you feel..." "Can you put a finger on what went wrong?" "Can you put into words the disappointment that you feel?" I mean, seriously? After hearing variations of the same questions, none very interesting and mostly just negative, I'm with Cam when he says, "They played better than us. I don't know what you want me to say." Still, every NFL player is contractually obligated to do interviews, before and after games. This is part of the job. Not a fun part, sure. Nobody was intending to rub the loss in his face, even if that's probably what it felt like. People most often aren't going out of their way to offend you, even if that's probably what it feels like. No matter what kind of drivel is flowing around you, you have to keep on keeping on.  Answer the stupid questions, move on.

7. You're someone's example, even if you don't want to be.
People in the public eye may say they didn't ask to be role models. But they are. Our nation seems to follow every step of athletes, movie stars, and icons, whether they are worthy of emulation or not. Hopefully celebrity is something that can be used to further good in the world. Even if you're not in the news or on television, someone is watching you and looking up to you. No matter what your position in life or your role, you are (and can be) a leader in some fashion. ALWAYS act like someone's watching.

8. There's always tomorrow.
Cam did say during the interview, "We'll be back." There's no doubt about that for Carolina - either as a successful football team in general or going to the Super Bowl specifically. They had an AMAZING season! Sunday's game didn't erase that. I hope that Cam takes that to heart, uses his God-given admirable talents to look to next season. Cam's got a great career still ahead of him in which he can make a lasting mark. We all have growing we can do. Let's reflect on each day, asking for forgiveness from God, others and ourselves for our faults, bettering ourselves to face the next task. "Failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." - Mary Pickford.

I went from judgmental to thoughtful to pitying and all around again while thinking about this interview. I hope to take to heart some of these thoughts for myself, not only thinking them but putting them into practice. Hopefully I emulate positivity to my kids and help them learn from their world. Let's throw out a little grace to each other, and accountability for ourselves, knowing every day is an opportunity to grow - through your failures or that of someone else. As Dr King said, "Darkness can't drive out darkness - only light can do that." Be the light!

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