So, there we were...
We woke up and got ready for church on Sunday morning. The handbell group in which I am a member was playing for the service, so Big Sister, Miss A, and I headed up a little early for warming up. During the service, the kids were pretty good - with the exception of Little Guy.. sigh. Seems like he's been making sitting through church his big battle lately... But I digress...
I teach Sunday School to the toddler class. It's a cool set-up we have developed over the last few years for this class - parents are involved and attend the class too. We have fifteen or twenty minutes of playing, then "circle" time with songs and the Bible lesson, then a snack and sometimes a craft or activity. It's a fun time for the parents to hang out with the little ones, and even the dads have gotten into it and are a big help.
Big Sister came along to help in the class, which was good because we had a craft that involved paint. I was feeling really optimistic (too optimistic?) and was hoping we could quickly get their palms covered in paint, dab their prints onto the paper, and clean up - bada bing, bada boom. Here's a picture of the intended craft:
Thank goodness for the parents in the room who made the whole experience go smoothly! Our handprint crosses looked somewhat like this, but they were adorable all the way around. We got the hands painted on, and then had to wait for it all to dry. I sent them home for the families to finish the wording and shaping into an oval/Easter egg (or not!).
Following Sunday School, we headed home for lunch. The kids' caseworker had asked me last week if she could come do her visit on Sunday, to see the twins and also to see Big Sister. She let us know a day or two later that she would arrange to bring the other two siblings as well, as Big Sister hadn't seen them since probably December. I made two pans of Tater Tot Casserole and we were golden.
I've mentioned before that the other two siblings are currently in a children's shelter, since their foster home asked for their removal and no home has been found yet. We could tell a difference in them and their demeanor when they arrived, compared to the last time we saw them. They were both almost silent for the first thirty or forty minutes, refusing to talk. Neither one ate much, either. I was able to gain some rapport with the three-year-old girl, and she let me take her to the bathroom. While we were walking, she asked, "Which is my new bedroom?" It absolutely pained me to say, "Honey, you're not staying here - you'll go back after we finished eating and playing together." They must have thought they were going to ANOTHER new place, and that has got to be added stress, whether it's a good kind of stress or bad kind of stress.
It still breaks my heart that we were unable to take them in, and to know that they are still having to deal with living in a shelter, where they have been for about a month now. We both pray constantly for something to come up for them, some family to come into the picture, someone to love them and care for them in the middle of this situation.
The kids played well together and obviously were happy to see each other. It was pretty hot - Texas at the end of April, almost 100 degrees - so we were wilting outside, and came inside to finish up playing in the air conditioning.
When it was time to say farewell, I could tell Big Sister was getting pretty sad. She became even quieter. We helped load up the two siblings in the caseworker's car, then began getting her things together to get on the road back to her pick-up location. As I said yesterday, it was almost ninety minutes away, so we had a drive ahead of us. (Well, the Man of the House had a drive ahead of him. I had high school handbell practice, so I didn't drive with the crew.)
Once her things were in the car, she got in and buckled herself in. Maybe she felt awkward about good-byes, maybe she thought we all didn't want to make a fuss over her. But I opened the van door back up, gave her a hug, and made sure she understood we would try to do this again soon. She made a comment that the caseworker had talked to her about potentially moving to an Aunt's house in the near future. I tried to sound positive for her, even though she was sounding like the prospect wasn't really what she wanted to happen.
If that could happen, and be a good placement and a positive experience for her, that would be the answer to many prayers. As hard as it is to say no again, the Man of the House and I have run over and over different scenarios in our mind, and, at this point, we don't feel that being with us would be the best placement for her. We could do it, we could make it happen, and even be pretty good at it, understanding that she needs lots of love, patience, and guidance to succeed. But to find a healthy family member, one familiar with her, or someone with more experience being a parent to a struggling teenager, would (hopefully) be the best case scenario for her.
We didn't want to break her heart and give her false hopes about this weekend. We didn't want her to feel like it was an "audition" and that she was failing if we didn't automatically ask her to move in with us immediately. She didn't mention it to us, but the caseworker had been hinting that Big Sister was hoping for a move to our home. It was something we said we could consider if that was her best option, but that was before we heard about the Aunt being willing.
We want to be part of her life, and hope that being a supporting scaffold will be of benefit to her and the family as a whole. While we don't feel able (or called) to be the parent figures in her lives, all kids need healthy relationship with adults. We pray that we can be a positive influence and be a help to her in any way we can.
Please join us in praying for this young person and for the whole group of siblings as their future is decided for them by other adults. God has the chapters of their lives already written, and knows each step along the way. We pray for healing on their troubled hearts, for warmth and love to come in and envelop them, from whatever source it may be.
Also, please keep in the front of YOUR mind how many, many, many other children like her are out there. Good kids, who, through no fault of their own, are caught up in a system that is doing its best, but can never replace the love of a real Family. Please pray for all children who need a forever home, kids of all ages. If God is stirring something in your heart to act for these children, please pray about that as well, but don't delay! God has a plan for everyone! Might fostering or adopting be one of His plans for you?
"God put a million, million doors in the world for His love to walk through. One of those doors is you." - Jason Gray, "With Every Act of Love"
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