So several things have happened over the last few days.
1) We had the first long (6-hour) unsupervised Saturday visit for the twins. Everything seems to have gone just fine, as far as we know. The logistics were a bit tricky for us as a family - we had to bring sandwiches for lunch, drive around while getting the older two to nap, make a zoo trip last longer than we usually do, and snag a pizza for the kids to eat for supper since it was almost 7 by the time we got home. The twins were very excited to be able to see their two youngest siblings, though, and couldn't stop talking about them. We're thankful they got that opportunity.
2) While we were driving around during this time, my phone rang, and it was the twins' Big Sister. We only talked for a few minutes, which was all the time she had available. She said, at the group home she's currently in, they get rewards for good behavior, and one of those rewards is making a phone call home on Saturday. My heart broke when she said called us because we were the only people she could think of to call, as she doesn't have a "home" now. She didn't know about the visit happening that day, so I tried not to make a big deal out of it. We just chatted about the art center she's been making good use of, and her classes, and the girls she's met there. I hope we can meet up with her soon, as it's been almost two months since the twins saw her.
3) I got a phone call from the twins' caseworker today. She said she was just clarifying that we did not need to drive the girls to the scheduled (supervised) visitation tomorrow. I hadn't realized this. She explained that since they were granted the long visits on Saturdays, the court and the department did away with the other visits, which were every other week, mostly on Tuesdays. After she hung up, I realized I don't know how I feel about the only visitations happening now being unsupervised. Between now and the trial in June, it seems strange to have no contact that someone is supervising, whether it be a caseworker. therapist, lawyer, or whomever.
4) My little nephew was born on Friday, and. I. Love. Him. So. Much. Already. He came right on his due date, the talented, punctual youngster. I can't keep myself from looking at the adorable pictures they have sent thus far. I'm so happy for my sister-in-law and her husband, and I can't wait to meet The Newest Addition at Easter! (And it makes me miss my other two nephews, my sister's boys in Nebraska, a TON. Hugs to you guys!)
5) I have been feeling... off... the past couple of weeks. Just tired, more stressed and tightly-wound than usual. I decided that I was not being as patient and loving as I should be (read: being the snappy Mom nobody likes to be). I decided to brush up on my "Love and Logic" skills as a stress-reducer all around. "Love and Logic' is a parenting/teaching/child-raising program developed to equally encompass two strategies in disciplining your child: empathy and consequences. I could take a while to explain it more fully, and why I think it helps me, but suffice it to say that you strive to remain as calm as possible, showing sorrow for misconduct, while sticking to your guns with the consequences. We've used it as a school, and I really agree with the premise as a parent in dealing with my own kids. I'm not perfect at it, but I feel most effective when using these techniques or at least some similar. I was going over the Early Childhood materials - books, mp3 recordings - because toddlers definitely give you something to hyperventilate about, and I wanted some good refreshers. So, one tip for toddler parents that I just had to share: I got a kick out of remembering "The Uh-Oh Song". In my own words, this is how one uses the "Uh-Oh Song": when a misbehavior happens, one says, "Uh-Oh!" in a cheerful, sing-song voice, before stating the consequence. "Uh-Oh! I think you need some bedroom time." "Uh-Oh! I think you need some time in the quiet spot." "Uh-Oh! I think this toy needs to go on top of the fridge if we're going to fight over it." The idea is that it's difficult as a parent to stay stressed when you're singing "Uh-Oh" and it helps build the empathy and make the behavior the villain instead of the scolding parent. For the child, the phrase "Uh-Oh!" begins to be a trigger that gently leads them to think about their actions - maybe even preemptively. I began really using the "Uh-Oh Song" last week - literally, if there was a crown, I was the "Uh-Oh" champ! A funny thing happened today. Several times, I began to say "Uh-Oh!" when I saw one of the littles doing something they knew they shouldn't - and all of them would freeze. It was pretty hilarious, and yet amazing to watch how quickly it worked on them. It was a great day with calm all around. I was happy to have a little success so visibly, with something so easy. (Check out the "Love and Logic" website if you want to read about the theories in their words, which are probably clearer than mine rambling around in a brief blog post: http://www.loveandlogic.com/)
Well, signing off for now. God's blessings to you and yours!
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