To My Sister-in-Law; On the Birth of Your Baby

Dear Kimby,

You're becoming a mom! Ahhh! It's about to get real! Nine months go really quickly, don't they?!

I'm very thankful for the way you have welcomed me into the family and made me feel like a sister, and not just an "extra". We love you and the hubby so much. And we can't wait to love on the new addition. I am incredibly excited to be an aunt again. We are so proud of how y'all are tackling this newest phase of life.

There are many things I wish I could go back and tell myself before I became a parent. Whether by physical birth or by adoption, your life forever changes on that day. I'm not saying I have it all down - incredibly far from it. This is a small list from the vast, amazing, (*cough, *cough) wisdom I wish I could share with myself, what what I want to say to you:

• You will never feel completely "ready". If you're not a tiny bit anxious, you're probably not human!

• There is no manual to tell you exactly what to expect or what to do - now or in the future.

• BUT there will be no shortage of people trying to tell you what to do. Parenting advice even from strangers will be something you'll get used to. Which diapers, what feeding schedule, what parenting strategy. Take everything with a grain of salt, listen to it and use what wisdom you can (there will probably always be at least some). But you alone make the decisions. Don't ignore advice, but don't feel obligated to follow it.

• You may have some definite "As a parent, I will NEVER..." comments roaming around your head. Be prepared to laugh at your former self and your expectations of what you THOUGHT parenthood would mean. (You will be far less likely to judge other parents again after living through raising a child and all that entails.)

• To say that parenthood is simultaneously the most difficult and most rewarding task of your life is absolutely not cliche. You'll understand very soon.

• You might feel either completely overwhelmed or completely numb when meeting your child for the first time. Either is okay. It will be a special day, so bask in it, soak it all in, and enjoy it.

• Time truly will just fly by. Take lots of pictures to remember every moment. But, most importantly, live a life worth memorializing, so that every day, commemorated or not, is a beautiful memory to cherish.

• Memories are exponentially more important than things - and last longer. If you ever have to make the decision between buying a present or paying for a vacation or memory, take the memory.

• You will never take free time for granted again. 

• You will never take going to the bathroom in peace for granted again.

• Sleep deprivation and the (albeit good) stress of having a new addition can really do work on you. It's no joke. Remember that it's temporary. Hang in there. Hang in there. If you can make it through this, you can make it through almost anything.

• When you have a rough day, always remember: "This too shall pass."

• Try not to Google things too often. You'll only scare yourself. If you have a question, ask your pediatrician or someone knowledgeable whose advice you trust.

• The greatest gift you can give your child is their faith in God. Keep yourselves surrounded with those who will build up your faith together as a family. Intentionally feed your relationship with Christ. And always remember - we will keep the little guy in our prayers every day, count on that.

• Your child is an incredibly precious gift from God. Remember how blessed you are, and what a blessing and awesome responsibility it is to raise a child.

• You're beautiful, no matter what you may think the scale or mirror says. Parenthood changes you physically; you're a dang tiger who's earned your stripes. You gave birth to a human being. That's amazing.

• Find the courage and flexibility to both give your complete heart to your family and to keep your individuality. And when you figure that out, let us all know how.

• You might feel like you're under a microscope. You might feel like people are constantly watching, evaluating your skills as a parent - especially as a new mother. Most people aren't judging, just reflecting on what it was like to be in that stage with their kids. They understand and sympathize, and look back with fondness on that stage of life. You bring all of those memories back to them - maybe with even a bit of wistfulness.

• Don't be afraid to ask for help, or take it when it's offered. Whether it's babysitting, laundry help, a meal, what have you. People love you and want to ease the load for you. Some day, you can pay it forward and help out another new parent.

• Don't be a helicopter; don't be a drill sergeant. You'll find the balance.

• Teamwork, planning, and preparation together as parents make a huge difference. We've had many cycles of "with-it-ness" and "not-so-with-it-ness". Lean on each other. Figure out who has what strengths and play to those strengths.

• It's been said elsewhere, and in so many words, but it's so true: The best thing you can do for your children as a mom is to love their dad. So find time for you two together for date nights, evening reflections, sharing the day's experiences, keeping up with each others' hopes and dreams. Strive to put your marriage first - you were a wife before you were a mother.

Love you, and can't wait to meet the little guy!

God bless you, today and always!
Aunt Angela