I got a Call from our caseworker this afternoon. She was asking about a placement for a set of 2-year-old twins. I said we would be interested and she said we will know more information tomorrow.
They are a foster-adopt placement, which means there is a legal risk, the same as our other placements have been. If we are the family chosen, we will go through the court process until their ultimate destination is decided at the end.
We'll keep you updated. I also have not heard anything at this point about any of the adoption situations from last week, but they were supposed to be making decisions by the end of this week.
So, this is how it goes, being an open placement for foster kids and potential adoptive kids! You just go with the flow and see where the ride takes you!
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and support on our ride!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Tired of Me Talking about "Waiting"?
I was feeling kind of down this weekend about the adoption placements from last week. The Match Event was last Saturday, and since we still hadn't heard anything, The Man of the House and I were assuming that we weren't chosen.
This afternoon I emailed our placement caseworker to ask if she had heard anything. I felt slightly bad asking her, fearing that we may appear pushy, or over-aggressive, or just plain annoying. :-) I tried to make it light-hearted, saying we aren't as familiar with an adoption placement, as most of our kids have been emergency, same-day placements.
She responded very quickly and told me the latest was that the caseworker for the last sibling group we had contact with said she would make her decision by the end of this week.
I wrote back immediately, thanking her, and exclaiming that I was happy to hear there is still hope!
I had a conversation with my Dad last week while I was updating him on what we knew about the placement. Now, first, you have to understand the relationship between my Dad and me. I am definitely a Daddy's girl. Not that I don't love my mom - and I have grown in respect and plain awe of her as I have grown older - but it's just wired in me that my Dad and I "click". I could talk to my Mom about anything and everything, and she was close with my friends. She never was a peer, or tried to be, but she was and is definitely one of my greatest friends. On the other hand, when something big was happening, I had to tell Dad and get his input and/or approval, and that little girl is still inside of me, wanting that interaction. If you want to get me really bawling, play "Butterfly Kisses" or "I Loved Her First" or any other song usually heard during father-daughter dances at weddings. Now, the interesting thing about my Dad and me is that we're almost completely different personality wise. Not good, not bad, just intriguing. If you know the Myers-Briggs personality profile system, you'll understand the difference between a person who is mostly a "T" personality and someone who us mostly an "F". Thinking vs. feeling. Logic verses emotions. My dad has almost all "T" and no "F" and I have almost all "F" and barely any "T". In simpler terms, he faces the world with logic and I use my feelings and intuition. We like to discuss it; I find it fascinating.
I digress.
Anyway, after I was sharing, even though I assumed I was sounding positive, we started having one of those father-daughter talks. He told me, "You have always been a worrier. You get it from your grandmother." (This is a common motif in our conversations! Heard it many times! And I totally agree that I get it from Grandma Bernice! Love you! :-))
I told him something to the effect of: "But I think I am a choose-your-battle type of worrier. I won't get uptight if Little Guy puts his pants on backwards, because he did it himself and I want him to be proud of his accomplishments. If milk gets spilled at the table, we say 'Oops' and clean it up with not much fuss because it's not a big deal. Big deals are worth caring about, and whether or not we get another kid in the house is a big deal to us." He did concede that I have gotten better at not worrying about everything as much as I did when I was younger. Hey, there's always baby steps to take, people!
I don't want to become so consumed with the "next step" that I lose sight of the blessings that we have right now. I know we have two wonderful, awesome kids who are more precious than anything else on this earth to the two of us. God has richly blessed us with food and clothing and a home to live in. It's not that we want MORE to have MORE, when we desire more children; we just feel led that this is our path and we trust that God is the one to provide for us and complete our family further, and we won't stop bugging him yet!
There's definitely a sense of walking a fine line, between contentment and pouring out our heart's desires in prayer as often as we can. God tells us to "Ask, Seek, Knock", and we try to do that every day out of the peace in our hearts. Some days, it's easier to be patient than others.
I would ask for thoughts and prayers for us to continue to keep positive attitudes in this waiting time. Please also remember the little ones whom God will add to our family - we ask for their safety and protection at this time, and for our relationship to begin as healthy as possible the moment we know they are joining our family. I'll keep posting on any updates!
This afternoon I emailed our placement caseworker to ask if she had heard anything. I felt slightly bad asking her, fearing that we may appear pushy, or over-aggressive, or just plain annoying. :-) I tried to make it light-hearted, saying we aren't as familiar with an adoption placement, as most of our kids have been emergency, same-day placements.
She responded very quickly and told me the latest was that the caseworker for the last sibling group we had contact with said she would make her decision by the end of this week.
I wrote back immediately, thanking her, and exclaiming that I was happy to hear there is still hope!
I had a conversation with my Dad last week while I was updating him on what we knew about the placement. Now, first, you have to understand the relationship between my Dad and me. I am definitely a Daddy's girl. Not that I don't love my mom - and I have grown in respect and plain awe of her as I have grown older - but it's just wired in me that my Dad and I "click". I could talk to my Mom about anything and everything, and she was close with my friends. She never was a peer, or tried to be, but she was and is definitely one of my greatest friends. On the other hand, when something big was happening, I had to tell Dad and get his input and/or approval, and that little girl is still inside of me, wanting that interaction. If you want to get me really bawling, play "Butterfly Kisses" or "I Loved Her First" or any other song usually heard during father-daughter dances at weddings. Now, the interesting thing about my Dad and me is that we're almost completely different personality wise. Not good, not bad, just intriguing. If you know the Myers-Briggs personality profile system, you'll understand the difference between a person who is mostly a "T" personality and someone who us mostly an "F". Thinking vs. feeling. Logic verses emotions. My dad has almost all "T" and no "F" and I have almost all "F" and barely any "T". In simpler terms, he faces the world with logic and I use my feelings and intuition. We like to discuss it; I find it fascinating.
I digress.
Anyway, after I was sharing, even though I assumed I was sounding positive, we started having one of those father-daughter talks. He told me, "You have always been a worrier. You get it from your grandmother." (This is a common motif in our conversations! Heard it many times! And I totally agree that I get it from Grandma Bernice! Love you! :-))
I told him something to the effect of: "But I think I am a choose-your-battle type of worrier. I won't get uptight if Little Guy puts his pants on backwards, because he did it himself and I want him to be proud of his accomplishments. If milk gets spilled at the table, we say 'Oops' and clean it up with not much fuss because it's not a big deal. Big deals are worth caring about, and whether or not we get another kid in the house is a big deal to us." He did concede that I have gotten better at not worrying about everything as much as I did when I was younger. Hey, there's always baby steps to take, people!
I don't want to become so consumed with the "next step" that I lose sight of the blessings that we have right now. I know we have two wonderful, awesome kids who are more precious than anything else on this earth to the two of us. God has richly blessed us with food and clothing and a home to live in. It's not that we want MORE to have MORE, when we desire more children; we just feel led that this is our path and we trust that God is the one to provide for us and complete our family further, and we won't stop bugging him yet!
There's definitely a sense of walking a fine line, between contentment and pouring out our heart's desires in prayer as often as we can. God tells us to "Ask, Seek, Knock", and we try to do that every day out of the peace in our hearts. Some days, it's easier to be patient than others.
I would ask for thoughts and prayers for us to continue to keep positive attitudes in this waiting time. Please also remember the little ones whom God will add to our family - we ask for their safety and protection at this time, and for our relationship to begin as healthy as possible the moment we know they are joining our family. I'll keep posting on any updates!
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Project: Chore Charts
The Man of the House and I have been talking about how our kids (especially Miss A) are getting old enough to help around the house. They both do a pretty good job of helping when they're asked at this point. We try to think of age-appropriate tasks, both things they do now and things we would like them to do. He and I agree that appropriate responsibilities will foster self-confidence, pleasure in a job well done, and a feeling of familial helpfulness. All that good stuff! We have differing views about allowance (maybe a topic for a later post) but we both agree they're ready for some official responsibility just for the sake of helping around the house.
I searched Pinterest for different ideas. I saw a lot of cute charts, DIY, printable, and some you can purchase. One that caught my eye used magnets that the kids move when they accomplish a chore.
However, I came up with another idea in the end. I utilized the same concept I used for my to-do list I used at school last year. I printed off a blank form and then put it into a picture frame I already had. This enabled me to use dry-erase markers instead of buying or replicating numerous copies of my blank list. I kept it simple - only five spaces. I really liked this format.
So... drum roll... here are the chore charts, newly placed in the hallway between the two kids' bedrooms, right outside the bathroom.
And here's another, closer picture.
Here is a close-up of Miss A's chart. Her jobs are: making the bed, getting dressed, fixing her lunch and getting her backpack ready (with our help, of course, to make sure the lunch was healthy and she hasn't forgotten anything), clearing the table after meals, watering the plants on the front porch, picking up her toys at night before bed, and brushing her teeth.
You can see that I snapped the picture as soon as I put it up, so there are no dry-erase marks. (Yet, she added a sticker this morning as soon as she made her bed! Silly goose!)
And here's Little Guy's chore chart. He gets to make his bed, get dressed, set the table, get the mail, water the plants (with double duty, hopefully someone will get to them each day, right?) and brush teeth.
The best part about these charts is how versatile they are. Changing or modifying the tasks is as easy as printing off a new page and inserting it into the picture frame. Hopefully this will help our days go smoothly!
Does your family have chores? Do you have a place where you keep record of it, or a method you use to keep your kids accountable? I'd love to hear about it in the comment section!
I searched Pinterest for different ideas. I saw a lot of cute charts, DIY, printable, and some you can purchase. One that caught my eye used magnets that the kids move when they accomplish a chore.
However, I came up with another idea in the end. I utilized the same concept I used for my to-do list I used at school last year. I printed off a blank form and then put it into a picture frame I already had. This enabled me to use dry-erase markers instead of buying or replicating numerous copies of my blank list. I kept it simple - only five spaces. I really liked this format.
So... drum roll... here are the chore charts, newly placed in the hallway between the two kids' bedrooms, right outside the bathroom.
And here's another, closer picture.
Here is a close-up of Miss A's chart. Her jobs are: making the bed, getting dressed, fixing her lunch and getting her backpack ready (with our help, of course, to make sure the lunch was healthy and she hasn't forgotten anything), clearing the table after meals, watering the plants on the front porch, picking up her toys at night before bed, and brushing her teeth.
You can see that I snapped the picture as soon as I put it up, so there are no dry-erase marks. (Yet, she added a sticker this morning as soon as she made her bed! Silly goose!)
And here's Little Guy's chore chart. He gets to make his bed, get dressed, set the table, get the mail, water the plants (with double duty, hopefully someone will get to them each day, right?) and brush teeth.
The best part about these charts is how versatile they are. Changing or modifying the tasks is as easy as printing off a new page and inserting it into the picture frame. Hopefully this will help our days go smoothly!
Does your family have chores? Do you have a place where you keep record of it, or a method you use to keep your kids accountable? I'd love to hear about it in the comment section!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Waiting... Another Update
I received an e-mail last night from our placement caseworker entitled, "Two GREAT Siblings Looking for a Family!" When I opened it, a picture of two adorable kids smiled back at me. There was a little girl who is 7-years-old and a little boy who is 6-years-old. The message gave a little background on the pair, as well as their interests and basic personality descriptions. (You never hear tons of information on the first "feeler" sent out about a child or sibling group. Once you are matched with a placement, then you will be given a more complete account of their history and current situation. Once you are preparing to adopt a child, you receive their whole file and get to read the WHOLE shebang, every note, every message, etc.)
After the Man of the House returned home from coaching a football practice, we sat down to dinner and looked over the e-mail together. After some discussion, we agreed to tell her that we are interested. 6 and 7 may have seemed a little old several weeks ago, but after the Match Event, seeing all of those older children, we agreed to spread out our parameters, so to speak. We'll see what happens!
I don't want to jump ahead of myself, but I've been having visions of sugarplums dancing in my heads, dreaming of a Christmas with "our new children", coming together as a family, celebrating together... What a fun time that would be!
Side-note: I also found out from our caseworker yesterday that the sibling group of two girls won't work out for us. They are, for whatever reason, a "moderate" care case, and we are only licensed for "basic" cases. Quick prayers that a good home will be found for those sweeties!
After the Man of the House returned home from coaching a football practice, we sat down to dinner and looked over the e-mail together. After some discussion, we agreed to tell her that we are interested. 6 and 7 may have seemed a little old several weeks ago, but after the Match Event, seeing all of those older children, we agreed to spread out our parameters, so to speak. We'll see what happens!
I don't want to jump ahead of myself, but I've been having visions of sugarplums dancing in my heads, dreaming of a Christmas with "our new children", coming together as a family, celebrating together... What a fun time that would be!
Side-note: I also found out from our caseworker yesterday that the sibling group of two girls won't work out for us. They are, for whatever reason, a "moderate" care case, and we are only licensed for "basic" cases. Quick prayers that a good home will be found for those sweeties!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Waiting... An Update
I mentioned that I e-mailed our placement caseworker about the three opportunities mentioned in the book we received at the Match Event on Saturday. She e-mailed me back early Monday morning and said she would forward our home study to the respective caseworkers so they can make a decision.
We don't know when we'll hear anything, but it sure feels good to know that the wheels are turning, and things are happening, even if they're out of our control. (And even if that phrase makes me want to shudder sometimes!) :-)
On Monday afternoon, I received an e-mail from one of the caseworkers I had e-mailed myself, and she was asking for the name of our organization and caseworker. She was the one with a two-girl sibling group. I complied, but we have yet to hear anything back from her.
So, that's a brief update with where we are. I don't want to be boring, sharing news that's really no news, but, then again, this is a real picture of how it goes for a potential placement family. You hurry up and wait! And get ready for the fun craziness to begin!
We don't know when we'll hear anything, but it sure feels good to know that the wheels are turning, and things are happening, even if they're out of our control. (And even if that phrase makes me want to shudder sometimes!) :-)
On Monday afternoon, I received an e-mail from one of the caseworkers I had e-mailed myself, and she was asking for the name of our organization and caseworker. She was the one with a two-girl sibling group. I complied, but we have yet to hear anything back from her.
So, that's a brief update with where we are. I don't want to be boring, sharing news that's really no news, but, then again, this is a real picture of how it goes for a potential placement family. You hurry up and wait! And get ready for the fun craziness to begin!
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Baby Girl's Story
This story will be the hardest to write. It was painful, and it is the most recent.
I'll back up to last fall. Our caseworker began asking us if we would be open to new placements, as we were licensed for three children in our home at the time. We told her we wanted to wait until Little Guy's adoption went through, so we could focus on getting everything done that needed to happen, and just celebrate that time with him. Right before Christmas, we had a regular monthly visit from the caseworker. She asked again if we would be open to a placement and we happily told her, "Sure!"
In the morning on January 10th, I received a CALL from our caseworker. She asked me if we would be interested in taking in a four-day-old baby girl who was currently in the NICU due to some medical issues related to the pregnancy and birth, but was going to be released that day. I ecstatically agreed and ran to find The Man of the House.
We were all so thrilled - over-the-moon kind of happy. I remember that my face hurt from smiling so much those first couple of days. The Man of the House, Miss A, Little Guy and I had all been praying for our new "baby brother" or "baby sister" for months, asking God to keep him or her safe and protect her, to help us prepare our home and hearts for a new addition, and to guide the outcome of the placement. The kids were so great about the situation; they think it's completely normal for a caseworker to drop off a random kid at your house to become part of your family! We are very open about the fact that they are adopted, and we tell the age-appropriate versions of their own stories to them every so often. We want them always to know how wanted they are and how loved - by so many people.
On the day we took in Baby Girl, here was her situation: Birthparents were not together. They were both a few years older than us. They had created an adoption plan during the last part of the pregnancy, but when birthfather came to the hospital to sign it after the delivery, birthmother told him she had changed her mind and wanted to raise the baby. He told her he wanted nothing to do with the whole ordeal. CPS became involved when certain things came to light about the situation. That's where we came in. Birthmother was somewhat estranged from her family and said she did not have anyone to take the baby in for the time being. We were chosen to take Baby Girl. Birthmother had an unfortunate history and a long journey ahead of her to regain her rights. The closest family were her parents three or four hours away, but the investigations caseworker confided to us that was too far away to consider for a placement. I will stress now that nothing was promised to us, but we were told it looked promising for our eventual adoption of Baby Girl. Birthmother could probably even change her mind about the adoption and maybe voluntarily terminate her parental rights, it was discussed with us. It sounded like a fairly simple case and we felt extremely blessed.
Baby Girl completed the puzzle of our family at that time in a way that is hard to describe. From the second we laid eyes on her, Baby Girl felt like a piece of our family that was always meant to be part of us. The Man of the House and I could hardly articulate to each other how attached we immediately felt to her. It all just "clicked" and we were praying right from the very first that she would stay with us for good. Of course we threw in the "if it be Your Will, Lord," phrase while we prayed, but of course this would be God's Will if it was working out so smoothly and felt so right, right?
Getting up in the middle of the night and then teaching a full day at school wasn't very difficult because of how enamored with her we all were. The Man of the House usually stayed up until about 11 p.m. to feed her, then I woke up around 2 or 3 a.m. to feed her again, and she ate again somewhere between 5 or 6 a.m., either before or after my shower, depending on the time. We had an efficient system of teamwork and I treasure my husband so much for his willingness to tackle these sleepless nights without complaining. It was a joyful, delirious, content time in our lives.
During the day, we arranged for Baby Girl to stay with a new friend from church who had a two-year-old almost exactly Little Guy's age. What a blessing to have people around us who are willing to jump on the crazy train right along side us and be ready to pitch in when our world abruptly changes course!
Miss A and Little Guy took turns holding Baby Girl every chance they could get. Miss A especially enjoyed helping with feeding time, but she did tell us, "I'm not doing any diapers." They talked about the baby to anyone who would listen.
A couple of weeks went by and our first court appearance happened. I took the morning off of teaching to head to the courthouse. I had not met Baby Girl's caseworker or lawyer in person, so I was looking forward to sitting down and discussing her care and growth so far. I waited in the hallway, sitting in a padded chair, rocking and feeding Baby Girl. Two older people came up to me while I was waiting and began asking questions about the baby, and then told me that they were Birthmother's parents. They had just recently learned about the birth of Baby Girl, and they were there to get custody of her as her grandparents.
I felt floored, blindsided, scared, for my own sake. But I held it all in and made small talk. They asked to hold her, of course I handed her right over, and they held her the rest of the morning, without speaking much to me after that. When the lawyer came over, introduced herself briefly and then told me I wasn't needed in their conversation and I might be more comfortable sitting down inside the court room while they spent time with the baby out there in the waiting area. Feeling brushed off, pushed aside, I numbly complied and sat by myself listening to other cases for about an hour before I went back out to see if they needed anything.
I finally found Baby Girl's caseworker and we got to talk. I told her about the interaction and the statement the grandparents had made, not speaking in a defensive manner, just attempting to gauge her reaction. She looked at me and asked, "Does that make you upset?" She didn't speak unkindly, just very plainly and slowly, and continued, "You know that we keep children with families as much as possible. Of course they are here to get custody." I explained that I hadn't known until this moment that the grandparents were in the picture for custody, as I was told that they lived too far away to be considered for placement of Baby Girl and had been expecting to have her for the time being, if not longer. It was a new development for me and The Man of the House at the moment and we just needed to please be kept abreast of any new developments or decisions that came up.The caseworker told me not to worry, she might not leave today, but... we would have to see what the judge decided. At this point I was tearing up, she hugged me and apologized for me finding out this way, and I excused myself to the bathroom... and sobbed. I felt that communication had happened without us and felt powerless to have any say in Baby Girl's future. Obviously everyone else was on one page and we hadn't been informed. That was almost as painful as the thought of being separated from Baby Girl.
The grandparents were not rude to me in any way, I think they simply had no idea we had been told of the probability (at the time) of our keeping Baby Girl as a foster placement and longer. They considered us a foster home, which we rightfully were, but they assumed we were only a "placeholder" until they could come along and take care of the child. If I were in their shoes, I'm sure I would feel the same way.
In the middle of this complex interaction, the investigations caseworker (who originally removed Baby Girl from Birthmother's custody) later checked in with me in the courtroom, saw I didn't have the baby, asked why, retrieved her from the grandparents, apologized for them being allowed to "take over", and said, "I know they're here to get custody, but I think she needs to stay with you." It was whiplash, back and forth, back and forth, with my emotions.
During the hearing, the judge received all of the information and updates, and then announced that she wasn't ready to move Baby Girl. The grandparents needed to be investigated and show that they could provide a decent home for her. This was the same judge who had overseen Spunky Girl/Preemie Boy's case, as well as Little Guy's case (Miss A was in a different county), so she knew our family, and said, "This is a good foster family and I know she's getting excellent care. I want to keep her there at this time." Obviously, her encouraging words made me feel better. As far as moving Baby Girl, with the long list of items to happen before you are "approved" by the agency, we all figured it would be a while, a span of time probably heading into months.
The days were horribly bittersweet as they went by. Every night left us more attached to Baby Girl, more confident that God had a miraculous plan that would enable her to stay with us forever, yet more fearful of the thought of her departure. Every call from the caseworker brought a rollercoaster of emotion as we heard all kinds of varying reports on Baby Girl's placement status. No answer could be determined... and no news is definitely not good news when the revelation of said news feels so immensely important. We heard how Birthmother wasn't doing well and chances were slipping away quickly that she could regain custody, in the caseworker's opinion. We heard about progress on the investigation of the grandparents and we heard about how Birthmother expressed that it was her desire for Baby Girl to stay with us and not be placed into her parents' custody. All we could be told was that everything would be reported to the judge and she would make the decision.
We were never able to have a single actual meeting with either Baby Girl's caseworker or lawyer - they cancelled or no-showed on us several times, and even though they apologized, it still hurt and felt unfair - and we felt time slipping away from us, Baby Girl slipping away from us, without the possibility of The Man of the House and I, the foster parents, even being able to share our own feelings, opinions, and experiences.
Another court date was scheduled when Baby Girl had been with us about two months. The night before, I had a horrible foreboding feeling, worrying about leaving any stone unturned or anything unsaid. I called Baby Girl's caseworker, apologizing for bugging her after hours. Our last conversation had ended with her telling me "It was probably best for Baby Girl to get back with family as soon as possible and not just be stuck in some foster home." I wanted the caseworker to know that that wasn't the case for Baby Girl. I told her how much The Man of the House and I were attached to Baby Girl, how much we loved and cared for her, and how much we desired to adopt her if the time came. I said that I had never fully expressed it to her and I didn't want to appear pushy, but I needed to see if this made any difference to her opinion and if it would affect what she would tell the judge in the morning. The caseworker responded, "I had no idea you wanted to adopt her." I replied, "Well, we are a foster-adopt home and have adopted two others." She said, "Really?" and paused, then said, "That changes things."
I could barely sleep that night, reeling from the conversation with the caseworker. Should we have been up front from the beginning that our ultimate intent was to adopt Baby Girl, if her Birthmother lost custody, of course? Or was that too forward? You are somewhat discouraged from seriously discussing adoption when children are still in the foster portion of their care. Nothing's settled until it's settled, and you can't cross a bridge before you come to it.
The next day at court, I was told as soon as I arrived by Baby Girl's caseworker that the team would be asking the judge to move placement of Baby Girl to the grandparents' home effective immediately. Again, all I could feel was numb. It didn't help that we were one of the last cases heard that day and I had to hold everything in for such a long period of time. At one point, I did ask permission to run home and pack her bags quickly, to help make things easier for the grandparents. I cried the entire ride home, while at home, and the entire ride back.
The judge announced that she would agree to the placement move, but wanted to work out a smooth transition time. Instead of an immediate change, she asked if Friday, three days away, would be enough time for all of us. We all agreed and the hearing was over. The caseworker asked if she should pick Baby Girl up at school Friday morning. I asked if she could pick her up at the caregiver's home instead; I didn't want my students watching the good-bye.
It is not being dramatic to say that Friday was one of the worst days I have experienced. I dropped Baby Girl and her bag of clothes and diapers at the caregiver's home and could not linger so as to make it to school on time. I don't recall if I actually talked or just awkwardly left her with the caregiver after I kissed her good-bye and walked away.
I taught that day, which was probably a mistake. I excused myself to the hallway or bathroom countless times to cry, and spent lunch and recess time bawling with The Man of the House, who confessed that he had been choking back tears behind his ubiquitous coffee mug all morning (only the second time I've ever seen him cry, after the day of his grandfather's funeral). I had been very open with the students that today would be a rough day for me. They knew Baby Girl was a foster baby, had been bouncing off the walls with me the day we received THE CALL about her, and stunned into silence on the day I told them she was leaving us. As cold and numb as I was, I felt the warmth of their concern and care as my sixth graders prayed for me that morning. (One blessing of teaching at a Christian school! Love those kids!)
We survived the day and got home. I cried through most of dinner. At one point during the meal, Miss A stopped eating and sat in my lap. She looked at me, put her head on my shoulder, and tears began forming in her eyes. I asked her what was making her sad, and she said, "I think it's probably the same thing that's making you sad, Mommy." I held her and we sobbed together for a minute, and I said, "Yes, I miss Baby Girl very much. We love her, don't we?" She peered up through her tears and said, "Yes, we love her, Mommy, but there are more boys and girls that need our help now. We need to be ready to say 'Yes, we can help them!' when they ask us." Of course, that made me cry harder, tears of gratefulness that she understood what this was all about, maybe even better than we did.
I think about that moment whenever people comment or ask about the effect that fostering has on the other, permanent children in the home. I think teaching kids from an early age that sacrificing your own comfort or desires for the ultimate good of another is never a bad thing. It's painful for anyone when there is loss of any kind. It was painful for us, because we wanted things to work out our way for our own little world. Kids are so resilient, though. To Miss A and Little Guy, the uncertainty of having Baby Girl was a fact of life, and one they didn't question. It was natural - and of course, there was NO question about us doing it again. Miss A fully expected each of us to brush ourselves off, jump right back on our horses, and get ready for the next ride.
My hope in sharing this experience is not to appear overly dramatic or emotional, nor is it to ask for pity. We knew what we were getting into when we signed up for this journey even before Miss A coming to our home was a reality. About half of the kids in foster care return to their biological families. No matter how things sound at the beginning of a case, things can always change. Putting up with the uncertainty is in the job description. We handled this well on some days and not as well on some days. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it, KNOWING WHAT COULD HAPPEN DOESN'T MAKE IT EASY WHEN IT DOES HAPPEN!
But we'll do it again.
Love and kindness are never wasted.
I can't explain clearly how holding that precious warm bundle of sweetness with her mop of red hair gave us such incredible joy, no matter how short the time was. Life is uncertain in any circumstance. It could have been my biological child that I raised in my own womb and then "lost" two months later. If you have actually experienced the death of a child, my heart cries out in agony for you, because I know my hurt is only a shadow compared with yours. We are blessed to know that Baby Girl is still here on this earth with grandparents who love her. The pain slowly fades, but the memories will never be forgotten. Christ who hung on the cross with all my sin, experiencing the mess of this world with all its pain, was triumphant over it all, and He promises that "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4
Love you, Baby Girl. May you grow strong and courageous and honorable and compassionate, and always feel His love and ours, even if we never meet again.
I'll back up to last fall. Our caseworker began asking us if we would be open to new placements, as we were licensed for three children in our home at the time. We told her we wanted to wait until Little Guy's adoption went through, so we could focus on getting everything done that needed to happen, and just celebrate that time with him. Right before Christmas, we had a regular monthly visit from the caseworker. She asked again if we would be open to a placement and we happily told her, "Sure!"
In the morning on January 10th, I received a CALL from our caseworker. She asked me if we would be interested in taking in a four-day-old baby girl who was currently in the NICU due to some medical issues related to the pregnancy and birth, but was going to be released that day. I ecstatically agreed and ran to find The Man of the House.
We were all so thrilled - over-the-moon kind of happy. I remember that my face hurt from smiling so much those first couple of days. The Man of the House, Miss A, Little Guy and I had all been praying for our new "baby brother" or "baby sister" for months, asking God to keep him or her safe and protect her, to help us prepare our home and hearts for a new addition, and to guide the outcome of the placement. The kids were so great about the situation; they think it's completely normal for a caseworker to drop off a random kid at your house to become part of your family! We are very open about the fact that they are adopted, and we tell the age-appropriate versions of their own stories to them every so often. We want them always to know how wanted they are and how loved - by so many people.
On the day we took in Baby Girl, here was her situation: Birthparents were not together. They were both a few years older than us. They had created an adoption plan during the last part of the pregnancy, but when birthfather came to the hospital to sign it after the delivery, birthmother told him she had changed her mind and wanted to raise the baby. He told her he wanted nothing to do with the whole ordeal. CPS became involved when certain things came to light about the situation. That's where we came in. Birthmother was somewhat estranged from her family and said she did not have anyone to take the baby in for the time being. We were chosen to take Baby Girl. Birthmother had an unfortunate history and a long journey ahead of her to regain her rights. The closest family were her parents three or four hours away, but the investigations caseworker confided to us that was too far away to consider for a placement. I will stress now that nothing was promised to us, but we were told it looked promising for our eventual adoption of Baby Girl. Birthmother could probably even change her mind about the adoption and maybe voluntarily terminate her parental rights, it was discussed with us. It sounded like a fairly simple case and we felt extremely blessed.
Baby Girl completed the puzzle of our family at that time in a way that is hard to describe. From the second we laid eyes on her, Baby Girl felt like a piece of our family that was always meant to be part of us. The Man of the House and I could hardly articulate to each other how attached we immediately felt to her. It all just "clicked" and we were praying right from the very first that she would stay with us for good. Of course we threw in the "if it be Your Will, Lord," phrase while we prayed, but of course this would be God's Will if it was working out so smoothly and felt so right, right?
Getting up in the middle of the night and then teaching a full day at school wasn't very difficult because of how enamored with her we all were. The Man of the House usually stayed up until about 11 p.m. to feed her, then I woke up around 2 or 3 a.m. to feed her again, and she ate again somewhere between 5 or 6 a.m., either before or after my shower, depending on the time. We had an efficient system of teamwork and I treasure my husband so much for his willingness to tackle these sleepless nights without complaining. It was a joyful, delirious, content time in our lives.
During the day, we arranged for Baby Girl to stay with a new friend from church who had a two-year-old almost exactly Little Guy's age. What a blessing to have people around us who are willing to jump on the crazy train right along side us and be ready to pitch in when our world abruptly changes course!
Miss A and Little Guy took turns holding Baby Girl every chance they could get. Miss A especially enjoyed helping with feeding time, but she did tell us, "I'm not doing any diapers." They talked about the baby to anyone who would listen.
A couple of weeks went by and our first court appearance happened. I took the morning off of teaching to head to the courthouse. I had not met Baby Girl's caseworker or lawyer in person, so I was looking forward to sitting down and discussing her care and growth so far. I waited in the hallway, sitting in a padded chair, rocking and feeding Baby Girl. Two older people came up to me while I was waiting and began asking questions about the baby, and then told me that they were Birthmother's parents. They had just recently learned about the birth of Baby Girl, and they were there to get custody of her as her grandparents.
I felt floored, blindsided, scared, for my own sake. But I held it all in and made small talk. They asked to hold her, of course I handed her right over, and they held her the rest of the morning, without speaking much to me after that. When the lawyer came over, introduced herself briefly and then told me I wasn't needed in their conversation and I might be more comfortable sitting down inside the court room while they spent time with the baby out there in the waiting area. Feeling brushed off, pushed aside, I numbly complied and sat by myself listening to other cases for about an hour before I went back out to see if they needed anything.
I finally found Baby Girl's caseworker and we got to talk. I told her about the interaction and the statement the grandparents had made, not speaking in a defensive manner, just attempting to gauge her reaction. She looked at me and asked, "Does that make you upset?" She didn't speak unkindly, just very plainly and slowly, and continued, "You know that we keep children with families as much as possible. Of course they are here to get custody." I explained that I hadn't known until this moment that the grandparents were in the picture for custody, as I was told that they lived too far away to be considered for placement of Baby Girl and had been expecting to have her for the time being, if not longer. It was a new development for me and The Man of the House at the moment and we just needed to please be kept abreast of any new developments or decisions that came up.The caseworker told me not to worry, she might not leave today, but... we would have to see what the judge decided. At this point I was tearing up, she hugged me and apologized for me finding out this way, and I excused myself to the bathroom... and sobbed. I felt that communication had happened without us and felt powerless to have any say in Baby Girl's future. Obviously everyone else was on one page and we hadn't been informed. That was almost as painful as the thought of being separated from Baby Girl.
The grandparents were not rude to me in any way, I think they simply had no idea we had been told of the probability (at the time) of our keeping Baby Girl as a foster placement and longer. They considered us a foster home, which we rightfully were, but they assumed we were only a "placeholder" until they could come along and take care of the child. If I were in their shoes, I'm sure I would feel the same way.
In the middle of this complex interaction, the investigations caseworker (who originally removed Baby Girl from Birthmother's custody) later checked in with me in the courtroom, saw I didn't have the baby, asked why, retrieved her from the grandparents, apologized for them being allowed to "take over", and said, "I know they're here to get custody, but I think she needs to stay with you." It was whiplash, back and forth, back and forth, with my emotions.
During the hearing, the judge received all of the information and updates, and then announced that she wasn't ready to move Baby Girl. The grandparents needed to be investigated and show that they could provide a decent home for her. This was the same judge who had overseen Spunky Girl/Preemie Boy's case, as well as Little Guy's case (Miss A was in a different county), so she knew our family, and said, "This is a good foster family and I know she's getting excellent care. I want to keep her there at this time." Obviously, her encouraging words made me feel better. As far as moving Baby Girl, with the long list of items to happen before you are "approved" by the agency, we all figured it would be a while, a span of time probably heading into months.
The days were horribly bittersweet as they went by. Every night left us more attached to Baby Girl, more confident that God had a miraculous plan that would enable her to stay with us forever, yet more fearful of the thought of her departure. Every call from the caseworker brought a rollercoaster of emotion as we heard all kinds of varying reports on Baby Girl's placement status. No answer could be determined... and no news is definitely not good news when the revelation of said news feels so immensely important. We heard how Birthmother wasn't doing well and chances were slipping away quickly that she could regain custody, in the caseworker's opinion. We heard about progress on the investigation of the grandparents and we heard about how Birthmother expressed that it was her desire for Baby Girl to stay with us and not be placed into her parents' custody. All we could be told was that everything would be reported to the judge and she would make the decision.
We were never able to have a single actual meeting with either Baby Girl's caseworker or lawyer - they cancelled or no-showed on us several times, and even though they apologized, it still hurt and felt unfair - and we felt time slipping away from us, Baby Girl slipping away from us, without the possibility of The Man of the House and I, the foster parents, even being able to share our own feelings, opinions, and experiences.
Another court date was scheduled when Baby Girl had been with us about two months. The night before, I had a horrible foreboding feeling, worrying about leaving any stone unturned or anything unsaid. I called Baby Girl's caseworker, apologizing for bugging her after hours. Our last conversation had ended with her telling me "It was probably best for Baby Girl to get back with family as soon as possible and not just be stuck in some foster home." I wanted the caseworker to know that that wasn't the case for Baby Girl. I told her how much The Man of the House and I were attached to Baby Girl, how much we loved and cared for her, and how much we desired to adopt her if the time came. I said that I had never fully expressed it to her and I didn't want to appear pushy, but I needed to see if this made any difference to her opinion and if it would affect what she would tell the judge in the morning. The caseworker responded, "I had no idea you wanted to adopt her." I replied, "Well, we are a foster-adopt home and have adopted two others." She said, "Really?" and paused, then said, "That changes things."
I could barely sleep that night, reeling from the conversation with the caseworker. Should we have been up front from the beginning that our ultimate intent was to adopt Baby Girl, if her Birthmother lost custody, of course? Or was that too forward? You are somewhat discouraged from seriously discussing adoption when children are still in the foster portion of their care. Nothing's settled until it's settled, and you can't cross a bridge before you come to it.
The next day at court, I was told as soon as I arrived by Baby Girl's caseworker that the team would be asking the judge to move placement of Baby Girl to the grandparents' home effective immediately. Again, all I could feel was numb. It didn't help that we were one of the last cases heard that day and I had to hold everything in for such a long period of time. At one point, I did ask permission to run home and pack her bags quickly, to help make things easier for the grandparents. I cried the entire ride home, while at home, and the entire ride back.
The judge announced that she would agree to the placement move, but wanted to work out a smooth transition time. Instead of an immediate change, she asked if Friday, three days away, would be enough time for all of us. We all agreed and the hearing was over. The caseworker asked if she should pick Baby Girl up at school Friday morning. I asked if she could pick her up at the caregiver's home instead; I didn't want my students watching the good-bye.
It is not being dramatic to say that Friday was one of the worst days I have experienced. I dropped Baby Girl and her bag of clothes and diapers at the caregiver's home and could not linger so as to make it to school on time. I don't recall if I actually talked or just awkwardly left her with the caregiver after I kissed her good-bye and walked away.
I taught that day, which was probably a mistake. I excused myself to the hallway or bathroom countless times to cry, and spent lunch and recess time bawling with The Man of the House, who confessed that he had been choking back tears behind his ubiquitous coffee mug all morning (only the second time I've ever seen him cry, after the day of his grandfather's funeral). I had been very open with the students that today would be a rough day for me. They knew Baby Girl was a foster baby, had been bouncing off the walls with me the day we received THE CALL about her, and stunned into silence on the day I told them she was leaving us. As cold and numb as I was, I felt the warmth of their concern and care as my sixth graders prayed for me that morning. (One blessing of teaching at a Christian school! Love those kids!)
We survived the day and got home. I cried through most of dinner. At one point during the meal, Miss A stopped eating and sat in my lap. She looked at me, put her head on my shoulder, and tears began forming in her eyes. I asked her what was making her sad, and she said, "I think it's probably the same thing that's making you sad, Mommy." I held her and we sobbed together for a minute, and I said, "Yes, I miss Baby Girl very much. We love her, don't we?" She peered up through her tears and said, "Yes, we love her, Mommy, but there are more boys and girls that need our help now. We need to be ready to say 'Yes, we can help them!' when they ask us." Of course, that made me cry harder, tears of gratefulness that she understood what this was all about, maybe even better than we did.
I think about that moment whenever people comment or ask about the effect that fostering has on the other, permanent children in the home. I think teaching kids from an early age that sacrificing your own comfort or desires for the ultimate good of another is never a bad thing. It's painful for anyone when there is loss of any kind. It was painful for us, because we wanted things to work out our way for our own little world. Kids are so resilient, though. To Miss A and Little Guy, the uncertainty of having Baby Girl was a fact of life, and one they didn't question. It was natural - and of course, there was NO question about us doing it again. Miss A fully expected each of us to brush ourselves off, jump right back on our horses, and get ready for the next ride.
My hope in sharing this experience is not to appear overly dramatic or emotional, nor is it to ask for pity. We knew what we were getting into when we signed up for this journey even before Miss A coming to our home was a reality. About half of the kids in foster care return to their biological families. No matter how things sound at the beginning of a case, things can always change. Putting up with the uncertainty is in the job description. We handled this well on some days and not as well on some days. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it, KNOWING WHAT COULD HAPPEN DOESN'T MAKE IT EASY WHEN IT DOES HAPPEN!
But we'll do it again.
Love and kindness are never wasted.
I can't explain clearly how holding that precious warm bundle of sweetness with her mop of red hair gave us such incredible joy, no matter how short the time was. Life is uncertain in any circumstance. It could have been my biological child that I raised in my own womb and then "lost" two months later. If you have actually experienced the death of a child, my heart cries out in agony for you, because I know my hurt is only a shadow compared with yours. We are blessed to know that Baby Girl is still here on this earth with grandparents who love her. The pain slowly fades, but the memories will never be forgotten. Christ who hung on the cross with all my sin, experiencing the mess of this world with all its pain, was triumphant over it all, and He promises that "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4
Love you, Baby Girl. May you grow strong and courageous and honorable and compassionate, and always feel His love and ours, even if we never meet again.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Family Match Event 10-19
Today was the family match event put on by the San Antonio Adoption Coalition. It was at a Children's Home at a church near downtown San Antonio. We headed out this morning, a Saturday on which we slept in (eek!) and bought Chik-Fil-A breakfast sandwiches on the way.
We arrived and there was a brief orientation with all of the families. The biggest things the organizers stressed to us was not to discuss adoption or give any false hope to the children. We were just told to enjoy the time and discuss general topics of school and likes/dislikes. If we were interested in a certain child or sibling group, we were to discuss it later with our caseworkers.
It made me wonder about the individual experiences of the children coming to the event. How much was each one told about what was happening? Were they excited? Nervous? Annoyed? Sad to think about leaving their current living situations?
When the children got there at around 10:00 am, we all headed into a gym. Various tables and areas were set up with activities - plastic bowling pins, a ring toss, hula hoops, bean bag toss, basketball and football throws, a clown performing magic tricks, a balloon artist, along with a DJ. We were assigned to help with the bowling table, but there was no person overseeing the shifts, so we meandered around the room with Miss A and Little Guy, checking out the different activities. After about thirty minutes, we went to the table and began helping another couple with the bowling and ring toss.
I counted about forty adults, which I was assuming meant somewhere between twenty and thirty families. One of my wonderings before the event was the ratio of kids to families; would there be way too many families and it would be a "competition" to see who could talk the quickest and smoothest to caseworkers? The Man of the House kept (jokingly) saying that "it's not a competition" (a common quote at our house). It's difficult not to feel anxious, though, when you're waiting for a new addition to your family, and you're in an environment with so many others going through the same experience. Does that sound callous? Please don't think that the event was cutthroat, or that our attitudes were - just an interesting dynamic. Almost everyone was incredibly friendly and eager to chit-chat as we all mingled around the room.
I say ALMOST everyone, because I was uncomfortable a couple of times. I had two women come up and try to talk to Miss A, sizing her up as if she were a potential adoptee. At the beginning of the morning, one lady kept butting in front of me and trying to open a paint bottle for her while Miss A was decorating a pumpkin, then five minutes later she was trying to teach her how to throw a basketball while we were playing together as a family. Now, the adoptive families were all supposed to wear red, and Miss A was properly attired, so it should have been obvious that she was not there to be adopted, but I guess maybe a few people missed the memo. I definitely had a twinge of annoyance and when one (different) woman boldly came up and began asking her questions about herself and then asked me, "So, she IS available, right?" I responded as sweetly as possible, "No, that's my daughter." She apologized and walked away, but a few minutes later, I saw her speaking to another adorable little girl, maybe a year older than Miss A, and then proceed to be glued to that little girl for the rest of the event, as if to state "I'm claiming this one - off limits!"
It sounds so silly and almost embarrassing to be sharing that this was what was going through my mind at the time. However, I am just being honest. I pray for God to give me a good attitude throughout this time, patience with the situation, and His Spirit of peace. It doesn't come naturally to us humans, does it?
We had a good time playing around, and some of the kids were really funny. The ages of the children were what I had expected, though; older than what we could really consider adopting. I saw one or two that looked to be our kids' ages, and the others were school-aged or older. We enjoyed spending time with them, of course, and you can tell how much most of these kids just are sponges for attention and affirmation. One boy behind us in the balloon artist line said he was in 8th grade, and we got onto the subject of Harry Potter and he proceeded to quote Harry Potter lines for the next few minutes. We were cracking up together at everything he said.
It tugs at your heart excruciatingly to see these kids and read information about their lives. With every child, you wonder about their full stories, how they came into care, what experiences have they been forced to face, how they are coping, and on and on. We people with only (somewhat) "normal" dysfunctions in our families can never fully appreciate the hurts these kids have dealt with. Hubs and I have talked about adopting older kids - meaning middle schoolers or teenagers - later on in life. At this point, we're thirty-one and thirty-two years old, and the age difference just isn't big enough. To walk around and observe these kids, knowing how badly they need a family too, and know that it isn't the time yet feels deflating.
At 1:00 pm, it was time to pack up. Cleaning didn't take a long time, so after a quick fix on our alligator balloon from the balloon lady (who was AWESOME, by the way!), we were ready to go. We were all given a booklet with pictures and basic information about the kids who attended the event. The Man of the House and I paged through it on the way home, attempting to read and keep the kids awake so they could have full naps at home (didn't happen).
We ended up sending an e-mail to our caseworker about three possibilities - a sibling group of two (one boy, 5; one girl, 4), another sibling group of two (two girls, 3 and 4), and a three-year-old boy. We let her know of our interest and asked her to let us know about their statuses. We're really hopeful that something will work out with one of the situations, so we'll keep praying.
I've been building this event up in my mind, and hoping that it is the answer to our prayers, the path on which we find the next addition(s?) to our family. I'm working hard on keeping an attitude of trust and peace in what God's will is for our family. He has the exact children planned for our home, and the exact timing of their entrances to it. We are so excited to see what comes next. Please pray for us as we wait. I'll keep updating!
We arrived and there was a brief orientation with all of the families. The biggest things the organizers stressed to us was not to discuss adoption or give any false hope to the children. We were just told to enjoy the time and discuss general topics of school and likes/dislikes. If we were interested in a certain child or sibling group, we were to discuss it later with our caseworkers.
It made me wonder about the individual experiences of the children coming to the event. How much was each one told about what was happening? Were they excited? Nervous? Annoyed? Sad to think about leaving their current living situations?
When the children got there at around 10:00 am, we all headed into a gym. Various tables and areas were set up with activities - plastic bowling pins, a ring toss, hula hoops, bean bag toss, basketball and football throws, a clown performing magic tricks, a balloon artist, along with a DJ. We were assigned to help with the bowling table, but there was no person overseeing the shifts, so we meandered around the room with Miss A and Little Guy, checking out the different activities. After about thirty minutes, we went to the table and began helping another couple with the bowling and ring toss.
I counted about forty adults, which I was assuming meant somewhere between twenty and thirty families. One of my wonderings before the event was the ratio of kids to families; would there be way too many families and it would be a "competition" to see who could talk the quickest and smoothest to caseworkers? The Man of the House kept (jokingly) saying that "it's not a competition" (a common quote at our house). It's difficult not to feel anxious, though, when you're waiting for a new addition to your family, and you're in an environment with so many others going through the same experience. Does that sound callous? Please don't think that the event was cutthroat, or that our attitudes were - just an interesting dynamic. Almost everyone was incredibly friendly and eager to chit-chat as we all mingled around the room.
I say ALMOST everyone, because I was uncomfortable a couple of times. I had two women come up and try to talk to Miss A, sizing her up as if she were a potential adoptee. At the beginning of the morning, one lady kept butting in front of me and trying to open a paint bottle for her while Miss A was decorating a pumpkin, then five minutes later she was trying to teach her how to throw a basketball while we were playing together as a family. Now, the adoptive families were all supposed to wear red, and Miss A was properly attired, so it should have been obvious that she was not there to be adopted, but I guess maybe a few people missed the memo. I definitely had a twinge of annoyance and when one (different) woman boldly came up and began asking her questions about herself and then asked me, "So, she IS available, right?" I responded as sweetly as possible, "No, that's my daughter." She apologized and walked away, but a few minutes later, I saw her speaking to another adorable little girl, maybe a year older than Miss A, and then proceed to be glued to that little girl for the rest of the event, as if to state "I'm claiming this one - off limits!"
It sounds so silly and almost embarrassing to be sharing that this was what was going through my mind at the time. However, I am just being honest. I pray for God to give me a good attitude throughout this time, patience with the situation, and His Spirit of peace. It doesn't come naturally to us humans, does it?
We had a good time playing around, and some of the kids were really funny. The ages of the children were what I had expected, though; older than what we could really consider adopting. I saw one or two that looked to be our kids' ages, and the others were school-aged or older. We enjoyed spending time with them, of course, and you can tell how much most of these kids just are sponges for attention and affirmation. One boy behind us in the balloon artist line said he was in 8th grade, and we got onto the subject of Harry Potter and he proceeded to quote Harry Potter lines for the next few minutes. We were cracking up together at everything he said.
It tugs at your heart excruciatingly to see these kids and read information about their lives. With every child, you wonder about their full stories, how they came into care, what experiences have they been forced to face, how they are coping, and on and on. We people with only (somewhat) "normal" dysfunctions in our families can never fully appreciate the hurts these kids have dealt with. Hubs and I have talked about adopting older kids - meaning middle schoolers or teenagers - later on in life. At this point, we're thirty-one and thirty-two years old, and the age difference just isn't big enough. To walk around and observe these kids, knowing how badly they need a family too, and know that it isn't the time yet feels deflating.
At 1:00 pm, it was time to pack up. Cleaning didn't take a long time, so after a quick fix on our alligator balloon from the balloon lady (who was AWESOME, by the way!), we were ready to go. We were all given a booklet with pictures and basic information about the kids who attended the event. The Man of the House and I paged through it on the way home, attempting to read and keep the kids awake so they could have full naps at home (didn't happen).
We ended up sending an e-mail to our caseworker about three possibilities - a sibling group of two (one boy, 5; one girl, 4), another sibling group of two (two girls, 3 and 4), and a three-year-old boy. We let her know of our interest and asked her to let us know about their statuses. We're really hopeful that something will work out with one of the situations, so we'll keep praying.
I've been building this event up in my mind, and hoping that it is the answer to our prayers, the path on which we find the next addition(s?) to our family. I'm working hard on keeping an attitude of trust and peace in what God's will is for our family. He has the exact children planned for our home, and the exact timing of their entrances to it. We are so excited to see what comes next. Please pray for us as we wait. I'll keep updating!
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