We had a very nice weekend again spending time with the twins' Big Sister. Quick recap: I was putting in some time working, so The Man of the House picked her up on Friday. We did presents before heading to bed that night. A great adventure hiking around a trail near the park happened Saturday, along with pizza (Digiorno) and movie night (Frozen - again). We had church in the morning, but our family had nursery duty, so we did that, then headed to Sunday School and back home.
Today was the day when the kids' caseworker brought the other two siblings over so we could all celebrate Big Sister's birthday. It was great to see her so happy - she grinned from ear to ear all day, just sparkling.
I followed the caseworker into the twins bedroom purposefully to find a quiet time to ask for any updates in the twins' cases. I have in the last week left two messages with the girls' lawyer, but haven't heard anything back. The trial begins in three weeks, and we don't know much yet.
The caseworker let me know that the family has filed for a hearing this week, petitioning the immediate reunification of the two siblings who are currently in the shelter. Reasons: 1) the state still hasn't found a foster home for them, and they have been there more than two months, and 2) they are claiming that the shelter isn't providing adequate care. (I'd have to not argue with this; the toddler has extremely painful looking eczema, and both of them have become incredibly withdrawn and quiet.) Because this is the same judge who has been saying the kids should never have been removed in the first place, and has granted the extended unsupervised weekend visits, it would be logical that he'll probably agree to this.
If that happens, says the caseworker, they are prepared to also petition for the twins to immediately be placed back in their care, the reasoning being that if they have the two siblings, the entire family should be reinstated and reunited. The actuality if this happening is a bit more uncertain, but the caseworker wanted to prepare us in advance that this may be occurring this week.
I expressed my amazement at how this could logically happen. I asked did this mean that the trial was null and void and a formality? She said, actually, no, the trial is for the permanent placement of the four siblings (Big Sister not included) and the new judge could still deny their request to adopt them. I asked what would happen if the four kids were placed back next week, but denied the adoption by the cousins, and she said that CPS would immediately call for their removal, and the twins, at least, would be placed back here with us, and begin looking at that as a permanent placement.
So, we could be hearing that the twins are leaving us as early as the middle of this week. AND we could still hear next month that they are coming back.
The past seven months have been such a roller coaster that I don't know if we have the ability to be shocked anymore by anything. Tonight, discussing all of this, all my husband and I can do is shake our heads at each other and ask, "Why am I not surprised?"
We have pretty much made our peace with the twins' time at our home coming to a close. In fact, we would at this point be pretty dumbfounded if the four siblings were not reunified with their previous caregivers. Just having this complicated twist added to things makes it just feel... weird? Too rushed? Like we need more time to say goodbye? Relieved that at least the case won't be dragged on for another month?
Again, we have absolutely no doubt that God has placed us here in this time and place for His purposes. We've never questioned that. Circumstances going differently than what we had anticipated won't change the fact that He's already planned our whole stories, down to the endings. We're not feeling angry or like we need to throw in the towel. While we do wish that this case had been a little more clear-cut and smoothly handled on all ends, it is what it is, and you do what you can with what you're given. We've already discussed that we're jumping right back into the game if/when the twins leave, and will accept another foster placement whenever the opportunity is there. This is our calling, and we are confident in that.
We'd love to ask for your prayers. We're not asking for the twins to stay with us. We're not asking for them to go. It's not about that. We don't want to come to God with any expectations, other than to ask for His will to be done and for us to be able to have a part in it. We ask for peace, we ask for the fortitude to emotionally and physically deal with whatever comes and make it through. We ask for protection and guidance for all of the four siblings, no matter where they end up.
As a closing thought, I just want to say how strange it is to think about, putting down my thoughts and having others read them. These things and events and feelings are very personal, and yet I want to document them, in order to give testament to this time in our lives, and to show others a real and authentic journey through the ups and downs of foster adoption. Thanks for being a part of our story, and for all of your never-ending encouragement.
God bless us, every one.
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