There was a court hearing scheduled for today, as I mentioned in my last post. The biological family was requesting unsupervised weekend visits for the twins. I wrote that I didn't think this was going to be a possibility.
And I was wrong.
The judge yesterday agreed to / ordered six-hour unsupervised visits every other weekend at the home of the former caregivers.
This is obviously frustrating for several reasons:
- The unsupervised factor. The children have not been unsupervised with the caregivers since they were removed in August. They have had supervised visits with the department roughly twice a month for an hour or so since then, and those longer supervised visits with the psychologists observing last month.
- Out of "normal" protocol. Now, I understand that every case is different and needs to be treated so. But we have never had a foster child have unsupervised visits during the case. When it had been decided that Spunky Girl was going back to her parents, she spent two non-consecutive nights there during one week, to ease the transition. (It was a horrible week. The disruption back and forth did such negative things to her behavior and emotional stability. It was too much for her little soul to handle. It would have been better probably to have a clean transition.) Usually cases involve two-four supervised visits at the department office every month for about an hour. We're not sure why this would be different. It would appear to be pointing in the direction that a reunification is imminent, which is not what we've been hearing. In fact, with "new evidence" being set forth last week, we were assuming that things were heading even more firmly towards termination of any rights and ending of case - in June at the trial, of course.
- Our family schedule. We are already transporting the twins twice a month to a location almost an hour away in distance, one-way. We also meet with the other foster siblings once a month. Now there will be two or three more times that the twins will need to be transported. Six hours is a lot of time to kill waiting for the visit to be over. It's not close enough to come home and return later. We'll have to work out details and logistics for this.
- Most importantly: the well-being of the kids. There is always emotional upheaval of course after visits. The little hearts are hurting and confused. It's not their fault that they are in this situation. And I firmly support the need for supervised visits (when parents have been cooperative, free of drug and alcohol abuse, and the visits are positive). The ties need to continue to be strong, to make good memories, and in the case that the kids return to their previous home. Yet, creating more visits with longer lengths of time will only add more stress and uncertainty as the kids are bounced back and forth.
Whine, whine, whine. Moan, moan, moan. I'm sorry to sound so negative. I want to be realistic and truthful in sharing our story, however, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't frustrated
We wholeheartedly believe in the foster care program. Our hearts ache for the myriads of children out there who need a stable home environment, for a time or forever. We are here because we feel God called us to do this, and we see it as a ministry. That doesn't make it easy, or that we feel happy with every decision made on behalf of the kids and their cases. The reward is in seeing the growth of the children, sharing their love, knowing you played a part in their development, even for a short while.
Whatever happens, however this chapter ends, it's already been written.
(I do have one bit of good news that happened today. It might need to wait until I can share it, as it's not my news to share, but it's about the new placement being attempted for the other two siblings. I'll post when I know something for sure!)
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