Instead of the trial happening to terminate the rights of the parents, and begin our path officially to adopting the girls, the judge agreed with the dissenting lawyer who wanted to reschedule so the DNA testing could be done. We held a permanency hearing instead.
We were in the court room for a while, the caseworker and lawyers taking turns speaking with the lawyers. The judge did listen to all of the information regarding the fathers' lack of involvement and the mother's gradual decline in participation of her services and visitations.
The judge did agree that we need to terminate the parental rights of all three parents, as the caseworker and kids' lawyer brought forward today. However, he agreed that the DNA test could determine the permanent placement of the girls. If the alleged father is in fact the actual, biological father, then members of his family need to have home studies done to see if any would be viable for custody of the girls.
In addition, three other names were brought forward from the families of the mother and the other father, to be considered for home studies.
First thing that happens when a child needs to be removed from a home is that the parents are asked for family members who could take in the children. The baby was in the hospital still and Curly Sue stayed a bit with her maternal grandmother at the very first part of this case, but it was not a suitable placement or good situation, and that's why they were placed with us. Three or four people were brought forward as potential placements way back then, but none of them were approved for one reason or another, and the girls settled in with us "for good", as no other names were ever brought forth throughout the case.
Now, this is ELEVEN MONTHS into the case. The baby has only known us as her family. The 4-year-old hasn't seen her birthmother since mid-April because of her lack of involvement. Neither father has ever visited with the baby. Older sister hasn't seen some of these family members in over a year, if ever, and for a preschooler, that's HUGE. We were so upset sitting there and hearing this, that these people would be willing to completely uproot the lives of their children. Yes, they are biologically part of their families, but if they really loved them, why go through pulling strings to find every random relative you can think of to take custody, and rip them out of the loving home they've known for almost a year?
The judge seemed to also feel our annoyance. He expressed anger with the parents for bringing forward these people this late into the case. And yet, he said, it is part of the law that family members who are brought forward have to be looked at to see if they would be appropriate placements. So he agreed to let further home studies be looked into for the girls' adoptive placements.
Where we stand now is this: trial has been reset for July 30th, with court orders to Dad #2 and the DA's office to have the DNA testing done the week before, so we definitely have paternity results and can move forward with termination and further plans for the girls.
In addition, the names that were given need to be investigated for home studies. Now, the girls' caseworker and lawyer assured us repeatedly that they are completely against any change in placement, that they will fight tooth and nail for our adoption to proceed. I feel confident that they will do everything in their power for the girls' best interests. However, if someone now comes up who is related to the girls and doesn't have extensive criminal histories or big red flags coming up on their home studies, policy is to keep families intact - no matter how long the kids have been with foster families - as we've seen in other cases.
We are obviously pretty shaken up. It was a rough day. This feels like deja vu from the twins' case, where the caseworker told us, "Oh, don't worry - this is absolutely just a formality. They won't leave your home. We want them to stay with you. No change in placement will really happen, just going through the motions..." And then BOOM they were gone from our home. We just really really do not want to go through this again.
I'd love prayers for positive attitudes, and for hope. This is not the end, and it doesn't mean necessarily that the girls would leave us. The caseworker and lawyer are adamant that the girls are too bonded with us to take them away just to make them be living with distant family members. The whole day was very deflating, nonetheless. We're mad, anxious, disbelieving, all of the above - GRRRRRRR!
Thank you for your support and prayers and happy thoughts. We need them! We'll be fine, we know that, regardless of what happens, but we count ourselves very blessed for every shoulder we can find to lean on during this waiting period! Thanks, y'all!
