This will be a short update, because not much is happening on the homefront. The visits will continue, twice a month, through the trial date in June.
We did receive a very odd e-mail today. Our caseworker (Tbe Man of the House and me) wrote saying that she needed to come visit, and would 9:00 am tomorrow morning be okay? And the twins' caseworker was coming as well. And The Man of the House needs to be there, so could he get a sub for his classroom for the morning? They (the two caseworkers) need to talk to us together.
I didn't want to overreact, but I wanted to ease our nerves about this. I immediately called, and asked her, "Is everything okay?" She said there was nothing bad happening, but there was something that would take too long over the phone to discuss, so they needed to chat with us in person, "to give us all the information so we could make some decisions moving forward." We were relieved to know that there wasn't anything horrible that had happened, but still pretty stumped as to what the conversation will be regarding.
Obviously, we think it's about their request for us to take in the other siblings. Later on, I also mentioned to The Man of the House that maybe they found a home that could take all five of the kids, and so they want to move them.
Mysterious, mysterious.
Of course it could be nothing of the sort, and maybe they just want to go over case details, so we can be prepared for the trial, since the while thing is a little out of the ordinary, relative to how CPS cases are normally handled. Who knows? I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow...
If we were in this for easy resolutions, we would have gotten out years ago. We know that the entire process is fraught with ups and downs, and that we just need to roll with the punches. We've always said we could handle anything in regard to the foster care and adoption situations, we just need communication, honesty, and "heads-up" whenever possible, to avoid being blindsided.
God has so graciously given my husband such a measure of patience and strength to deal with anything that comes his way. I have learned much from him over the twelve years we've been together. I'm a far cry from having reached this goal, but I like to think that God has taught me patience as well, and is continually refining this part of my character. We are blessed to spend the time that we have with the kids - all of them - and know that it is in His hands.
Thanks as always for thoughts, encouragement, and support. I will update the next step of this journey as soon as I can. God bless!
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Spring Break Fun
We had a packed few days o' fun with The Man of the House's family over Spring Break. Miss A couldn't believe she got this long out of school again! (Christmas break must seem to have been just yesterday to her... sigh...) :-)
On Saturday, we ladies attended "The Wizard of Oz" in downtown Houston with Grammy and "Aunt Mimi". We love attending the Theater Under the Stars (TUTS - https://www.tuts.com/ ) performances at the Hobby Center, and usually go as a big family event once or twice a year. ("White Christmas", "Annie", "Peter Pan", "Wicked"... it's been fun!) The actors are so kind to come out and see the kids - one or two at least usually - and take pictures. We're looking forward to "Little Mermaid" coming this summer and/or "Cinderella" coming next year!
The twins were so funny. I wasn't sure how they'd react to their first live performance. When the television is on at home, Sweet Angel becomes a frozen zombie. (Another reason we set low limits on any watching!) But, Queen Bee can only handle two or three minutes before she's off and running - and getting into things, as usual. Yet, at the play, SHE was the one awestruck by the characters, music, and scenery (the flying monkeys weren't as scary as in the movie), and Sweet Angel couldn't sit still! It was potty break, Grammy's lap, up, down, potty break, etc. the whole time! Too funny. I wasn't disappointed, as I realize they're only two-and-a-half, and this was just their first experience with musical theater - or theater of any kind. Pretty good outing for the first time!
The boys had all gone to the rodeo instead of the play, so Little Guy got some time with Daddy, PawPaw, and "Uncle Justin". We met up and ate at the Aquarium in downtown Houston together afterwards. Fun times!
We got to see "Aunt Canda" and "Uncle Ryan" the next day and hang out at my in-law's home. The only people we didn't get to see were "Aunt Kimby" and "Uncle Sok". (My husband has three sisters - how blessed is he!) We're anxiously awaiting the arrival of the baby they are expecting. He is due at the very beginning of April, but we did hear that he is looking like he will come early. Woohoo! (I put my bet down for March 24th! Come on, big guy!)
We also got to attend the Nederland, Texas Heritage Festival, downing all kinds of yummy fair food - they actually had Monte Cristos! Awesome! I loved hearing the squeals of the four kids as they experienced the kiddy rides, rode on actual horses for the first time, ate cotton candy, and generally had a blast hanging out together. When the six of us (yes, ALL SIX!) did a teacup-type ride, spinning and whirling and howling with laughter, I felt so loved and so happy.
Much love to my wonderful Texas family, and much thanks for the love you show me and my kids all the time! You are truly a blessing! Grammy and PawPaw, you can spoil my kids anytime you like!
On Saturday, we ladies attended "The Wizard of Oz" in downtown Houston with Grammy and "Aunt Mimi". We love attending the Theater Under the Stars (TUTS - https://www.tuts.com/ ) performances at the Hobby Center, and usually go as a big family event once or twice a year. ("White Christmas", "Annie", "Peter Pan", "Wicked"... it's been fun!) The actors are so kind to come out and see the kids - one or two at least usually - and take pictures. We're looking forward to "Little Mermaid" coming this summer and/or "Cinderella" coming next year!
The twins were so funny. I wasn't sure how they'd react to their first live performance. When the television is on at home, Sweet Angel becomes a frozen zombie. (Another reason we set low limits on any watching!) But, Queen Bee can only handle two or three minutes before she's off and running - and getting into things, as usual. Yet, at the play, SHE was the one awestruck by the characters, music, and scenery (the flying monkeys weren't as scary as in the movie), and Sweet Angel couldn't sit still! It was potty break, Grammy's lap, up, down, potty break, etc. the whole time! Too funny. I wasn't disappointed, as I realize they're only two-and-a-half, and this was just their first experience with musical theater - or theater of any kind. Pretty good outing for the first time!
The boys had all gone to the rodeo instead of the play, so Little Guy got some time with Daddy, PawPaw, and "Uncle Justin". We met up and ate at the Aquarium in downtown Houston together afterwards. Fun times!
We got to see "Aunt Canda" and "Uncle Ryan" the next day and hang out at my in-law's home. The only people we didn't get to see were "Aunt Kimby" and "Uncle Sok". (My husband has three sisters - how blessed is he!) We're anxiously awaiting the arrival of the baby they are expecting. He is due at the very beginning of April, but we did hear that he is looking like he will come early. Woohoo! (I put my bet down for March 24th! Come on, big guy!)
We also got to attend the Nederland, Texas Heritage Festival, downing all kinds of yummy fair food - they actually had Monte Cristos! Awesome! I loved hearing the squeals of the four kids as they experienced the kiddy rides, rode on actual horses for the first time, ate cotton candy, and generally had a blast hanging out together. When the six of us (yes, ALL SIX!) did a teacup-type ride, spinning and whirling and howling with laughter, I felt so loved and so happy.
Much love to my wonderful Texas family, and much thanks for the love you show me and my kids all the time! You are truly a blessing! Grammy and PawPaw, you can spoil my kids anytime you like!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Upcoming Visits
We heard via e-mail today from the caseworker about the twins' visits with their biological family before the trial in June.
They will have two visits a month, for two hours at a time, supervised, at the CPS office in San Antonio. Little Guy and I will probably be having some fun lunch dates, as most of them are over that time period of the day.
This is a little unusual, as typically the birthparents receive one-hour-long weekly visits (or bi-weekly visits, occasionally). Maybe they are making it so we only have to drive in half as often, but still get the required number of hours. Not a huge deal.
Nothing much else to report. I assume we'll start working with the twins' lawyer, caseworker, and CPS' lawyer to prepare us to testify in the trial. I am pretty apprehensive about the testifying, since this is obviously the first time I've been involved in a "real" court case and trial. I'd appreciate prayers for a calming of nerves and the right words to say at the right moments. And, overall, just for God's will to be done. He already knows the end result! We'll keep on keeping on!
Thanks, all!
They will have two visits a month, for two hours at a time, supervised, at the CPS office in San Antonio. Little Guy and I will probably be having some fun lunch dates, as most of them are over that time period of the day.
This is a little unusual, as typically the birthparents receive one-hour-long weekly visits (or bi-weekly visits, occasionally). Maybe they are making it so we only have to drive in half as often, but still get the required number of hours. Not a huge deal.
Nothing much else to report. I assume we'll start working with the twins' lawyer, caseworker, and CPS' lawyer to prepare us to testify in the trial. I am pretty apprehensive about the testifying, since this is obviously the first time I've been involved in a "real" court case and trial. I'd appreciate prayers for a calming of nerves and the right words to say at the right moments. And, overall, just for God's will to be done. He already knows the end result! We'll keep on keeping on!
Thanks, all!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Trial Dates Are Set
The twins' court hearing happened today to announce further dates in the trial. I ended up deciding not to attend, since it was so far away and no discussion was really taking place there. Here's what came out of the day:
Apparently, though, at the court appearance, it was discussed that WE would be the best and most logical placement for these two children. So when the lawyer called me to relay the dates of the trial, she asked if we would be willing to take them on.
Uh, wow.
My head was spinning in so many directions. (It still is, several hours later.) This would mean SIX kids under the age of six in our home, when we had only two with us five months ago. That would mean, besides the twins, Little Guy, and Miss A, we would have a 1-year-old as well as a 3-year-old who is literally only one week younger than our son, which would be virtually like having two sets of twins. Ai-yi-yi.
Realistically, we need to say no. We can't overburden our already busy and overflowing household. It wouldn't be unfair to Miss A and Little Guy, whom we KNOW will be with us for the long run.
And yet, my heart breaks to have to decline. The fact that these kids are separated through no fault of their own pains me. I want so badly to say yes. I want to give them the love they haven't known yet. I want to know they will understand what "home" really means. I want them to know what "safe" really means.
Aaahhh.......
Please don't think I'm absolutely crazy for having even considered this. I am not in denial about how hard it would have been to make this a reality. From housing to transportation to emotional stability to marriage health - it would be incredibly complicated, I know. Yet, my overwhelming feeling is guilt at my human frailties, disappointment at NOT being able to be a Superhero and make this happen for these kids.
Anyway, it's always an interesting ride here at our house. We know that God has blessed us with this life, and we are so honored and humbled that He has entrusted us with the kids we have, and the gifts He has given us. What a comfort to know we are never alone.
We'd appreciate prayers for the entire situation, all of the upheavals and uncertainty of the future. The story has already been written - we're just awaiting its playing out.
- May 29th: Mediation Hearing (Lawyers, caseworkers, and family members come together to work on details of the trial, including potentially settling out of court - which is highly unlikely to happen)
- June 9th: Trial will begin at District Court
Apparently, though, at the court appearance, it was discussed that WE would be the best and most logical placement for these two children. So when the lawyer called me to relay the dates of the trial, she asked if we would be willing to take them on.
Uh, wow.
My head was spinning in so many directions. (It still is, several hours later.) This would mean SIX kids under the age of six in our home, when we had only two with us five months ago. That would mean, besides the twins, Little Guy, and Miss A, we would have a 1-year-old as well as a 3-year-old who is literally only one week younger than our son, which would be virtually like having two sets of twins. Ai-yi-yi.
Realistically, we need to say no. We can't overburden our already busy and overflowing household. It wouldn't be unfair to Miss A and Little Guy, whom we KNOW will be with us for the long run.
And yet, my heart breaks to have to decline. The fact that these kids are separated through no fault of their own pains me. I want so badly to say yes. I want to give them the love they haven't known yet. I want to know they will understand what "home" really means. I want them to know what "safe" really means.
Aaahhh.......
Please don't think I'm absolutely crazy for having even considered this. I am not in denial about how hard it would have been to make this a reality. From housing to transportation to emotional stability to marriage health - it would be incredibly complicated, I know. Yet, my overwhelming feeling is guilt at my human frailties, disappointment at NOT being able to be a Superhero and make this happen for these kids.
Anyway, it's always an interesting ride here at our house. We know that God has blessed us with this life, and we are so honored and humbled that He has entrusted us with the kids we have, and the gifts He has given us. What a comfort to know we are never alone.
We'd appreciate prayers for the entire situation, all of the upheavals and uncertainty of the future. The story has already been written - we're just awaiting its playing out.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Visitation 2-20-2014
The saga continues with one more visit today for the twins and their former caretakers. There isn't really a lot to report, as I just dropped them off today and a transporter brought them home. Nobody but the front receptionist was there at the office and she took the girls back to the visiting room and I left. I tried calling the lawyer and caseworker and left messages asking for updates, but I haven't heard anything yet.
We have less than a week to go until we hear when the dates of the trial are. We're really debating if I should attend this hearing or not.
On one hand, just showing up says that we are invested in the case and care about the outcome. If I went, we would hear everything first hand and not have to rely on the lawyer and caseworker to pass on any information.
On the other hand, if the only purpose of the hearing is to announce the trial dates, and I am not going to be able to make any contribution by my presence, than it would be probably best to not go. Arranging childcare for the day and driving all that way is sometimes an annoyance.
So, nothing new to report.
Well, actually, both girls came home in the clothes they were wearing when I dressed them this morning, which means they had no accidents during the visit! They continued their awesomeness by not having any the rest of the day, either! Back on track! Woo-hoo!
We have less than a week to go until we hear when the dates of the trial are. We're really debating if I should attend this hearing or not.
On one hand, just showing up says that we are invested in the case and care about the outcome. If I went, we would hear everything first hand and not have to rely on the lawyer and caseworker to pass on any information.
On the other hand, if the only purpose of the hearing is to announce the trial dates, and I am not going to be able to make any contribution by my presence, than it would be probably best to not go. Arranging childcare for the day and driving all that way is sometimes an annoyance.
So, nothing new to report.
Well, actually, both girls came home in the clothes they were wearing when I dressed them this morning, which means they had no accidents during the visit! They continued their awesomeness by not having any the rest of the day, either! Back on track! Woo-hoo!
Monday, February 17, 2014
Visitation 2-17-2014
It was with slight sighs and rolling of the eyes that we took the twins in for a visitation today. Selfishly, we had wanted today to be a full holiday for our family and had planned to be together and do something fun, the six of us. However, this date worked for everyone else involved, so we made it happen too, and it wasn't a big deal.
Little Guy and Miss A were treated to the San Antonio Children's Museum while the twins were at the visit. It is such a neat place. The kid-powered elevator is awesome to see at any age. Our kids especially love the child-sized grocery store in the basement. If you've never been there, and you have young kids, it's definitely worth the visit! Here's the website: www.sakids.org
After playing for several hours there, we took the kids to a Mexican restaurant we were unfamiliar with on the River Walk. It was a beautiful day to sit outside, overlooking the river, counting the boats that floated by, eating chips and salsa. Well, Little Guy actually just ate salsa. Actually he drank it straight from the bowl. So silly!
It was priceless to get some alone time with the oldest two and my husband. I love watching them get older, and how they are becoming their own little people. We had such a blast together. I feel so blessed.
The girls each had one accident during the visit, which the lady walking them out made sure to tell me. (I still can't figure out if she works for the clinic that is supervising the visits or if she's a therapist overseeing the case or something else. She's always there to take them in when we drop them off and brings them back out when we pick them up.) That's an improvement from last week. They have been doing so well at home with potty training - maybe each one has an accident every other day or so, and only if they don't make it to the bathroom on time.
We're back at it again this Thursday for the final pre-hearing visitation. I haven't heard how they have been going. We're supposed to have had someone visit our house as well, to see the twins in our home environment as compared to in the visits, but that hasn't happened or been scheduled.
Till next time!
Little Guy and Miss A were treated to the San Antonio Children's Museum while the twins were at the visit. It is such a neat place. The kid-powered elevator is awesome to see at any age. Our kids especially love the child-sized grocery store in the basement. If you've never been there, and you have young kids, it's definitely worth the visit! Here's the website: www.sakids.org
After playing for several hours there, we took the kids to a Mexican restaurant we were unfamiliar with on the River Walk. It was a beautiful day to sit outside, overlooking the river, counting the boats that floated by, eating chips and salsa. Well, Little Guy actually just ate salsa. Actually he drank it straight from the bowl. So silly!
It was priceless to get some alone time with the oldest two and my husband. I love watching them get older, and how they are becoming their own little people. We had such a blast together. I feel so blessed.
The girls each had one accident during the visit, which the lady walking them out made sure to tell me. (I still can't figure out if she works for the clinic that is supervising the visits or if she's a therapist overseeing the case or something else. She's always there to take them in when we drop them off and brings them back out when we pick them up.) That's an improvement from last week. They have been doing so well at home with potty training - maybe each one has an accident every other day or so, and only if they don't make it to the bathroom on time.
We're back at it again this Thursday for the final pre-hearing visitation. I haven't heard how they have been going. We're supposed to have had someone visit our house as well, to see the twins in our home environment as compared to in the visits, but that hasn't happened or been scheduled.
Till next time!
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Visitation 2-11-2014
Extended Visitation #1 took place today. I got the directions, plugged them into my phone, and headed towards San Antonio. The visits are happening not at the CPS office where the other visits have occurred, but at a secondary site that happens to be a few minutes closer to us, which definitely helped with the drive. We pulled in a few minutes early - score!
The location is not affiliated with CPS, but a third party site, which I assume they use as an objective measure of evaluation for the court reports. The idea was that these longer visits, 4-5 hours, would be observed by therapists and anyone else who would be making a report for evidence in the trial. I didn't meet anyone who would fit that description; a woman greeted me when I brought in the kids and she had them ready when I came to pick them up again.
When I asked her how everything went, she replied that the girls had had several accidents and the dirty clothes were in the bag. She said this a little short-mannered, as if it had been a big deal, so I just casually replied, "Yes, they're potty training, and although they're doing great, if they don't get a chance to go every 20-30 minutes, they won't make it. That's why I packed so many extra clothes and underwear!" I tried to sound bright and positive, even though I had gone over all of this beforehand and specifically cautioned them all to be aware that the girls were in underwear and not diapers. The girls have actually been doing great at home and aren't having lots of accidents any more. Oh, well, hopefully next time is better.
She then said, "And they were bringing up the rash on one of the girl's leg." I replied that it is eczema, she's had it since we got her, it's coming and going no matter what lotion or cream we put on it, but she saw the doctor about it before and it has improved a great deal since November.
I want to stay positive, but it irks me that what appears to be happening is that the previous caregivers are looking for anything and everything to criticize us in order to make themselves appear better. This isn't the first time they've had an issue they brought up - which always turns out to be something really silly that is blown up to a bigger deal than it needs to be. All we can do is continue to be pleasant and calm, and not rise or be defensive. I would be definitely upset if my kids were removed from my home, and I would be doing whatever I can to get them back, I'm sure. It is what it is. We've learned to not let it get to us and just move on.
The lady didn't have anything else to say about the visit, and I haven't heard from the caseworker or lawyer about how it went. There will be two more long visits next week and then court on the 26th.
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement, everyone! God is good, and He knows exactly how this will turn out! May He bless your day!
The location is not affiliated with CPS, but a third party site, which I assume they use as an objective measure of evaluation for the court reports. The idea was that these longer visits, 4-5 hours, would be observed by therapists and anyone else who would be making a report for evidence in the trial. I didn't meet anyone who would fit that description; a woman greeted me when I brought in the kids and she had them ready when I came to pick them up again.
When I asked her how everything went, she replied that the girls had had several accidents and the dirty clothes were in the bag. She said this a little short-mannered, as if it had been a big deal, so I just casually replied, "Yes, they're potty training, and although they're doing great, if they don't get a chance to go every 20-30 minutes, they won't make it. That's why I packed so many extra clothes and underwear!" I tried to sound bright and positive, even though I had gone over all of this beforehand and specifically cautioned them all to be aware that the girls were in underwear and not diapers. The girls have actually been doing great at home and aren't having lots of accidents any more. Oh, well, hopefully next time is better.
She then said, "And they were bringing up the rash on one of the girl's leg." I replied that it is eczema, she's had it since we got her, it's coming and going no matter what lotion or cream we put on it, but she saw the doctor about it before and it has improved a great deal since November.
I want to stay positive, but it irks me that what appears to be happening is that the previous caregivers are looking for anything and everything to criticize us in order to make themselves appear better. This isn't the first time they've had an issue they brought up - which always turns out to be something really silly that is blown up to a bigger deal than it needs to be. All we can do is continue to be pleasant and calm, and not rise or be defensive. I would be definitely upset if my kids were removed from my home, and I would be doing whatever I can to get them back, I'm sure. It is what it is. We've learned to not let it get to us and just move on.
The lady didn't have anything else to say about the visit, and I haven't heard from the caseworker or lawyer about how it went. There will be two more long visits next week and then court on the 26th.
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement, everyone! God is good, and He knows exactly how this will turn out! May He bless your day!
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