Merry Christmas! And Happy New Year!
We had a terrific Christmas being with both sides of the family. I know it is a huge blessing to both be teachers by profession, and to always have time off of work to visit family. We treasure these moments so dearly.
We spent the week of Christmas with my husband's parents and his family. I am truly blessed to have been welcomed with open arms into his family, and to feel when I'm there that it is also "home". I love my sisters-in-law dearly, and their "extras" - their husbands (the word we tease each other with to categorize the four of us who married into the family). We always do a sibling Christmas exchange together, and I received a wooden Family Birthdays Calendar to personalize and put together, which I will post a picture of when I finish it, because I'm so stinking excited about the thing!
We left the day after Christmas to head to Colorado to see my side of the family. My youngest brother had a flight to catch the night we got in to head to Arizona to see his girlfriend, and my sister stayed in Nebraska with her in-laws for the holidays, but I got to spend time with my other brother and his wife, my parents, and also my paternal grandparents, who now live with my parents, as they are getting on in years. It was an experience beyond description to introduce our two newest additions to my family, as it had been with the others before them. For my parents to give such love and acceptance to the twins, even knowing there's a chance they may never see them again, was inspiring. I am grateful for the love they teach me every day by showing it in all facets of their lives.
So blessed.
The favorite song proudly warbled through our home and through the car during the many hours of driving was "The Little Drummer Boy". Miss A had learned almost every word by heart by the time Christmas break came, and Little Guy was close behind. The twins chimed in for every "pum" every time the song came on, or even if the other two were singing it themselves, a Capella.
The words in the second verse really hit me this year:
Baby Jesus, (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
I am a poor boy too; (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
I have no gift to bring (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
That's fit to give a King; (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum)
Shall I play for you (pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)
On my drum?
Hearing my little kids sing these words melted my heart for so many reasons. Their sweet, clear voices are just adorable to listen to. Off-key, on-pitch - it doesn't matter - I love children's voices singing! They definitely love to "make a joyful noise" and they have no anxiety about it at their age!
Their enthusiasm was endearing. They never tired of the song, even if it had played several times during the previous hour on the radio, or if we had sang it ten times in a row at home.
I'm a nerd who can't listen to any song without analyzing the deeper meaning. As I pondered the words to the song, it hit me that the kids were perfect carriers of the message it proclaims.
We're all too poor to bring anything to the table that's worthy of our Creator. Besides the fact that any earthly thing we "have" to bring isn't ours in the first place, there's nothing we humans do better than pretty much just messing things up.
Our petty attempts at "goodness" are most often self-serving in some way, if we're brutally honest with ourselves. And when I say "we", please forgive me, because I really just mean "me". I have so much anxiety over my own life and its happenings that I blind myself to the actual needs of others. I try to be everything to everyone, accomplish everything that's expected of me, which actually just turns the focus back to ME ME ME.I fail at it, feel guilty, try harder, fail again. ME ME ME.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal," says 1 Corinthians 13:1.
We come to the manger, acknowledging that we are unworthy of even attempting to present any "gift" to the King of Kings, knowing our failures, our faults... and then our Father says, "Ahh! Now you finally get it!"
(Kind of like my middle school shop teacher's musings on the man who won a "Humble" pin, but had it taken away when he wore it on his shirt. But I digress.)
In our unworthiness, we understand and appreciate the birth of Christ at its deepest meaning. He came for the lowly - the shepherds, the poor fictional drummer boy who had nothing but his God-given talent, the "sinners" he met and healed and ate with. He came for us, not in spite of our unworthiness, but BECAUSE of our unworthiness. He know that coming to our earth meant dying on the cross, and He still did it. For us. For me. For you.
And we are now clothed in His worthiness, His grace. He sees us as His children, dearly loved.
My kids sing their little songs, sometimes sweetly, sometimes loudly. God hears it. I'm pretty sure He loves it as much as I do.
My kids handed me Christmas presents they "bought" with money I gave them. They have nothing to offer me to entice me to love them. I know it. And I love them for it.
I wondered several times this Christmas season how I could ever explain to them the depth of love that I have for them all. "When they are parents," I told myself, "they'll understand."
And if I love my silly, messy, ever-changing little ones this much, imagine how much more the Infinite One of the Universe loves us all.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Monday, December 30, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Christmas Plans
I wrote yesterday in this post that we were waiting to hear about the decisions made today at the court hearing for the twins' case. We were most concerned with hearing about extended, unsupervised, or Christmas visitations being scheduled.
I heard from the lawyer this afternoon regarding the hearing. The judge did not grant Christmas visitation, and is also fine with our traveling over the holidays. However, we will have another supervised visit at the department on either January 2nd or January 3rd, which means we will have to cut short our trip up to the Great North a day or two. Not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things.
Our caseworker had made comments this week to the effect that the judge might be convinced by the previous caregivers' lawyers to begin the reunification process, and she was just alerting us to the possibility, even thought it's too early in the case to officially determine an end result. We're thankful that actual talk of starting that process, which we firmly believe would not be in the best interest for any of the five children, does not seem to be happening yet, at this point.
So, overall, the case is still pretty nebulous. There isn't a real end date to shoot for, but there is another hearing set for January 29th. There will be a supervised visit or two, and the investigation into the alleged happenings at the previous caregivers' house will continue between now and then. Again, no timeline at this point to determine the end result, but at least we know where we all stand today. The judge, lawyers, and caseworkers are happy with the kids' placements and want to continue them.
Much thanks for your thoughts and prayers. We're thankful that our families get to spend Christmas with the girls, and that we also get to spend our time with our families! Now on with the packing!
I heard from the lawyer this afternoon regarding the hearing. The judge did not grant Christmas visitation, and is also fine with our traveling over the holidays. However, we will have another supervised visit at the department on either January 2nd or January 3rd, which means we will have to cut short our trip up to the Great North a day or two. Not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things.
Our caseworker had made comments this week to the effect that the judge might be convinced by the previous caregivers' lawyers to begin the reunification process, and she was just alerting us to the possibility, even thought it's too early in the case to officially determine an end result. We're thankful that actual talk of starting that process, which we firmly believe would not be in the best interest for any of the five children, does not seem to be happening yet, at this point.
So, overall, the case is still pretty nebulous. There isn't a real end date to shoot for, but there is another hearing set for January 29th. There will be a supervised visit or two, and the investigation into the alleged happenings at the previous caregivers' house will continue between now and then. Again, no timeline at this point to determine the end result, but at least we know where we all stand today. The judge, lawyers, and caseworkers are happy with the kids' placements and want to continue them.
Much thanks for your thoughts and prayers. We're thankful that our families get to spend Christmas with the girls, and that we also get to spend our time with our families! Now on with the packing!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Court Tomorrow
What a full day and evening! The three littles and I ran around (all right, drove around) all morning getting things taken care of to finish The Great Vehicle Swap of 2013.
I don't think I have mentioned that I am now officially the proud driver of a VAN. My sweet sweet mother and I have traded vehicles, so she's now completely sans van after all of these years, and I have Big Blue to cart my crew around. My dad met us in the middle of Texas over Thanksgiving break for a five-minute Hello and a hand-off of vehicles. We've done the bill of sale and those kind of documents, but we're taking care of the inspections, registrations, title transfers - all that fun stuff. All kinds of stuff that toddlers love spending time doing, of course. (Just kidding - they were actually pretty good troopers about it all!)
After naps, I taught a piano lesson, Miss A had a violin lesson, I had handbells practice, we ate a Church dinner before Advent services, and then had a very musical night. Every third Wednesday night Advent service at our church is a special one, which features all FIVE of our handbell groups and our choir. This was the first year Miss A has played in a group; she chimes away with her fellow youngsters on the "little ones" as she calls them. It was a fabulous night with great music.
When we got to our car after church, I had a voice mail message from the twins' attorney. She asked to chat about the court hearing tomorrow, so I called her back, even though it was after 8:00 p.m.
And... I really really like her! She was very upbeat and friendly, which put me immediately at ease. What she informed me about court tomorrow is that the previous family is asking for extended visitation, the clarification on which nobody seems to be quite sure. Longer visits? More frequent visits? Probably both of the above. We had also heard this week from the twins' caseworker that they were pushing for a Christmas visit and possibly longer, unsupervised, or even overnight visits for Christmas.
It tears my heart to not see my family for Christmas. I sympathize with the longing to be together on such an important occasion. Yet, when they have only had two one-hour supervised visits in the CPS office since the kids were removed, it seems a bit unrealistic to request unsupervised overnight visits at this point.
I expressed to the lawyer that I didn't want to sound selfish, but we already had our Christmas plans made a while back, and have had them confirmed with the twins' caseworker, as I'm sure the other families have. We will be out of town and then out of state visiting family for two weeks beginning on Saturday. If we have to change our plans, we are willing to accommodate what the judge orders, of course. It would be a huge disappointment to ourselves and our families, though, if we had to either be away from the twins for Christmas, or not be able to see family - all of which live out of town and hours away - because we have to ferry the kids back and forth to visits, when they have already had two this month (the average, we've experienced).
(Please, please, I don't want anyone to think I'm being overly selfish in expressing my feelings. It's not easy to be at the mercy of the courts, and to hear your holiday plans may be potentially derailed a few days before said plans are set to commence. These girls are part of our family now as well, and thus part of our family plans. This is not the same situation as a divorced couple arguing over custody rights, after all. We don't intend to inconvenience or hurt anyone else, but the reality is that these scheduling things are the consequences of having children removed from your home - which of course happened for very good reasons. The former caregivers are not in charge of this case and shouldn't get to dictate the Christmas plans of three other families one week out. Rant over.)
She responded, "We'll just have to see what the judge says. That's all I can tell you." I agreed, and we left on excellent terms.
During the conversation, she did share some very kind words. She said she had about ten home studies to look at while determining the placement of the twins and that we had stood out for her. She was very complimentary about what she read about us. She joked that she was disappointed we couldn't take ALL of them! "Oh man, you mean they can only take two?!" she recollected saying.
What a neat thing to think about how much we prayed for our theoretical new additions long before we heard about the twins, and how God was working the whole time! All things in His schedule, not ours!
We would ask for prayers and thoughts tomorrow. He knows what will happen over Christmas break, as well as what will happen ultimately for these five sweet children. It's all in His hands.
I don't think I have mentioned that I am now officially the proud driver of a VAN. My sweet sweet mother and I have traded vehicles, so she's now completely sans van after all of these years, and I have Big Blue to cart my crew around. My dad met us in the middle of Texas over Thanksgiving break for a five-minute Hello and a hand-off of vehicles. We've done the bill of sale and those kind of documents, but we're taking care of the inspections, registrations, title transfers - all that fun stuff. All kinds of stuff that toddlers love spending time doing, of course. (Just kidding - they were actually pretty good troopers about it all!)
After naps, I taught a piano lesson, Miss A had a violin lesson, I had handbells practice, we ate a Church dinner before Advent services, and then had a very musical night. Every third Wednesday night Advent service at our church is a special one, which features all FIVE of our handbell groups and our choir. This was the first year Miss A has played in a group; she chimes away with her fellow youngsters on the "little ones" as she calls them. It was a fabulous night with great music.
When we got to our car after church, I had a voice mail message from the twins' attorney. She asked to chat about the court hearing tomorrow, so I called her back, even though it was after 8:00 p.m.
And... I really really like her! She was very upbeat and friendly, which put me immediately at ease. What she informed me about court tomorrow is that the previous family is asking for extended visitation, the clarification on which nobody seems to be quite sure. Longer visits? More frequent visits? Probably both of the above. We had also heard this week from the twins' caseworker that they were pushing for a Christmas visit and possibly longer, unsupervised, or even overnight visits for Christmas.
It tears my heart to not see my family for Christmas. I sympathize with the longing to be together on such an important occasion. Yet, when they have only had two one-hour supervised visits in the CPS office since the kids were removed, it seems a bit unrealistic to request unsupervised overnight visits at this point.
I expressed to the lawyer that I didn't want to sound selfish, but we already had our Christmas plans made a while back, and have had them confirmed with the twins' caseworker, as I'm sure the other families have. We will be out of town and then out of state visiting family for two weeks beginning on Saturday. If we have to change our plans, we are willing to accommodate what the judge orders, of course. It would be a huge disappointment to ourselves and our families, though, if we had to either be away from the twins for Christmas, or not be able to see family - all of which live out of town and hours away - because we have to ferry the kids back and forth to visits, when they have already had two this month (the average, we've experienced).
(Please, please, I don't want anyone to think I'm being overly selfish in expressing my feelings. It's not easy to be at the mercy of the courts, and to hear your holiday plans may be potentially derailed a few days before said plans are set to commence. These girls are part of our family now as well, and thus part of our family plans. This is not the same situation as a divorced couple arguing over custody rights, after all. We don't intend to inconvenience or hurt anyone else, but the reality is that these scheduling things are the consequences of having children removed from your home - which of course happened for very good reasons. The former caregivers are not in charge of this case and shouldn't get to dictate the Christmas plans of three other families one week out. Rant over.)
She responded, "We'll just have to see what the judge says. That's all I can tell you." I agreed, and we left on excellent terms.
During the conversation, she did share some very kind words. She said she had about ten home studies to look at while determining the placement of the twins and that we had stood out for her. She was very complimentary about what she read about us. She joked that she was disappointed we couldn't take ALL of them! "Oh man, you mean they can only take two?!" she recollected saying.
What a neat thing to think about how much we prayed for our theoretical new additions long before we heard about the twins, and how God was working the whole time! All things in His schedule, not ours!
We would ask for prayers and thoughts tomorrow. He knows what will happen over Christmas break, as well as what will happen ultimately for these five sweet children. It's all in His hands.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
First Sibling Visit
We were able to meet tonight with the three other siblings of the twins. We were very much looking forward to this, for the girls' sake, and for our own.
We met at a Chuck E. Cheese located between all of the three families. We left Miss A and Little Guy at home with a sweet friend who volunteered for the job last-minute. We wanted this meeting to be about the twins and their siblings, without the added distractions of two extra kids clamoring for attention, pizza, and tokens.
The girls have an older pre-teenaged Big Sister. Right away, we could tell that she was used to playing the role of Mom to the younger ones. She ran up to us when we arrived, hugged the girls, and began talking and playing with them. It was a treat to see how much she doted on them and helped them. I commented to her that she was great with the younger ones, and she nonchalantly, and without any bitterness, replied, "Well, I pretty much raised them. Our mother wasn't much help." She went on to say that she fed them, changed their diapers, and sang and read to them. We chatted about school and friends, enjoying an easy rapport. It was definitely apparent that she was used to being in an adult role, and used to communicating with adults in a mature manner.
Big Sister is placed in a foster home by herself. The other two siblings, whom I will call Bright Eyes and Weebles, are a sister older than the twins and a brother younger than them (respectively). Bright Eyes is almost a twin of Queen Bee (which is so funny, since Sweet Angel and Queen Bee don't look like twins!). Weebles was a cute little guy who enjoyed his food and bumbling along after the rest of the crew.
We hovered near the entrance at first, introducing ourselves and making small talk, before heading to find a table. Although it was packed with birthday party revelers, we were able to use a table being reserved for a later time in the evening, as long as we finished by the appointed time.
The kids loved watching all of the screens playing both Christmas songs and songs involving the Chuck E. Cheese "crew". Gone were the animatronics from back in the old days. There was only one moving Chuck, and the one who roamed around the room giving hugs and high-fives, which completely unnerved Sweet Angel and Bright Eyes, who both jumped into the Man of the House's lap shrieking when he came near. I was not however missing that horrid gorilla, who scared me senseless on the few occasions we went to Chuck E. Cheese.
We played a few games following our meal with the tokens that came with our meal, but there are only so many you can realistically do with two-year-olds.
We were able to chat a little bit with the other foster parents and exchange experiences. They are all very nice people, down-to-earth, and easy to talk to. We learned that Big Sister is understandably taking it pretty hard that she alone is not living with any of her siblings. Imagining her being split up after being the caretaker of all of those little ones for so long is rough. Her foster dad explained it like being an empty nest mother - "Her little babies are gone, and now what does she do? It's almost like her identity has been taken from her."
Please pray for these sweet siblings as they make new lives living separately from each other, and for all others in the same situation.
We made a tentative plan to meet again the first weekend in January for a movie night at one of the other foster homes. A great night is in the works, with a movie room and popcorn machine. We're so happy that tonight happened, that we had the opportunity to allow the kids to spend time together, and are praying for positive relationships to continue to develop all around.
We met at a Chuck E. Cheese located between all of the three families. We left Miss A and Little Guy at home with a sweet friend who volunteered for the job last-minute. We wanted this meeting to be about the twins and their siblings, without the added distractions of two extra kids clamoring for attention, pizza, and tokens.
The girls have an older pre-teenaged Big Sister. Right away, we could tell that she was used to playing the role of Mom to the younger ones. She ran up to us when we arrived, hugged the girls, and began talking and playing with them. It was a treat to see how much she doted on them and helped them. I commented to her that she was great with the younger ones, and she nonchalantly, and without any bitterness, replied, "Well, I pretty much raised them. Our mother wasn't much help." She went on to say that she fed them, changed their diapers, and sang and read to them. We chatted about school and friends, enjoying an easy rapport. It was definitely apparent that she was used to being in an adult role, and used to communicating with adults in a mature manner.
Big Sister is placed in a foster home by herself. The other two siblings, whom I will call Bright Eyes and Weebles, are a sister older than the twins and a brother younger than them (respectively). Bright Eyes is almost a twin of Queen Bee (which is so funny, since Sweet Angel and Queen Bee don't look like twins!). Weebles was a cute little guy who enjoyed his food and bumbling along after the rest of the crew.
We hovered near the entrance at first, introducing ourselves and making small talk, before heading to find a table. Although it was packed with birthday party revelers, we were able to use a table being reserved for a later time in the evening, as long as we finished by the appointed time.
The kids loved watching all of the screens playing both Christmas songs and songs involving the Chuck E. Cheese "crew". Gone were the animatronics from back in the old days. There was only one moving Chuck, and the one who roamed around the room giving hugs and high-fives, which completely unnerved Sweet Angel and Bright Eyes, who both jumped into the Man of the House's lap shrieking when he came near. I was not however missing that horrid gorilla, who scared me senseless on the few occasions we went to Chuck E. Cheese.
We played a few games following our meal with the tokens that came with our meal, but there are only so many you can realistically do with two-year-olds.
We were able to chat a little bit with the other foster parents and exchange experiences. They are all very nice people, down-to-earth, and easy to talk to. We learned that Big Sister is understandably taking it pretty hard that she alone is not living with any of her siblings. Imagining her being split up after being the caretaker of all of those little ones for so long is rough. Her foster dad explained it like being an empty nest mother - "Her little babies are gone, and now what does she do? It's almost like her identity has been taken from her."
Please pray for these sweet siblings as they make new lives living separately from each other, and for all others in the same situation.
We made a tentative plan to meet again the first weekend in January for a movie night at one of the other foster homes. A great night is in the works, with a movie room and popcorn machine. We're so happy that tonight happened, that we had the opportunity to allow the kids to spend time together, and are praying for positive relationships to continue to develop all around.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Court Date Ahoy
We received an e-mail today asking for another visitation with the previous family next Tuesday. Apparently, there was a court date scheduled for sometime next week and the lawyers want one more observation of the dynamics between the kids and the former caregivers before the court appearance.
I wrote back asking for more details, and if the kids were supposed to be there. Miss A did not have to appear in court, due to the practices of the county in which her case was handled, but the others all had to attend every court appearance.
I didn't really receive an answer, just a reply that the lawyer for the previous family/cousins got the date scheduled, as they are still pushing for extended visitation. She did say it was just a status hearing, and not a final-decision-making kind of court date.
So, we'll just keep praying and loving and doing what we do. Maybe we'll know something more about the future after next week, which would be a lovely Christmas present. If not, God knows the plan for these little girls, and for our family, and we'll let Him do the worrying.
I'll be updating when I get any news, of course!
I wrote back asking for more details, and if the kids were supposed to be there. Miss A did not have to appear in court, due to the practices of the county in which her case was handled, but the others all had to attend every court appearance.
I didn't really receive an answer, just a reply that the lawyer for the previous family/cousins got the date scheduled, as they are still pushing for extended visitation. She did say it was just a status hearing, and not a final-decision-making kind of court date.
So, we'll just keep praying and loving and doing what we do. Maybe we'll know something more about the future after next week, which would be a lovely Christmas present. If not, God knows the plan for these little girls, and for our family, and we'll let Him do the worrying.
I'll be updating when I get any news, of course!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
AWAKEN!
This past May, we met a wonderful couple, the Adams, in one of our training classes. They were there for the first time, while we were returning trainees. Afterwards, we chatted and made the connection that we have a common friend. Since then, we have eaten dinner together and had play dates. Jennifer and her family are currently waiting for their first foster care placement!
Jennifer has during this time shared her dream involving the non-profit organization she and her husband have founded. I wanted to share the e-mail she sent this week regarding the organization's website. Please read, enjoy, and pass along to anyone interesting in learning more or being a part of the process!
Dearest Friends,
It
is with great joy and excitement I email to introduce you to the
nonprofit that Brian and I have started. It is called AWAKEN! The Sun
Is Shining! We started this organization a few months ago to support
foster children, foster parents, birth parents and all state personnel
working with these families. When you visit our site you will be able
to see our mission statement and get a really good picture of where we
are now and where we are headed. I also invite you to visit the journal
that has an initial entry to get you up to speed on what has been
happening. J
It has been a crazy journey and doesn’t look like it will slow down! Join us on this adventure and take a peek at the site!
May the LORD’s peace and quiet cover you as you move through your week,
Jennifer Adams
First journal entry:
I
invite you to go with us on a journey that may dramatically change your
life. As Brian and I travel the road of adoption and fostering, we
invite you to be present with us through this blog……
As some of you may know back in March of this year Brian decided to walk away from his corporate job …….
To read more click below:
PS. Please feel free to forward this on to anyone you think would be interested in our organization! Thanks!
PPS. If you would like to hear from us occasionally please sign up for our mailing list on the website!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
The One with a Sort-of Update on the Case
The twins have another scheduled visitation with the former foster parents / cousins tomorrow. I made a phone call to the caseworker to confirm that the visit was definitely happening, and was able to have a brief chat.
She told me there are no court dates scheduled yet for the future, which is a little surprising, since usually the hearings happen every six to eight weeks, in our experience. There are also no other visits planned at this time beyond the one tomorrow afternoon in San Antonio.
The former family who was caring for the five children has requested of course to speed up reunification, and also to have lengthened and extended visits with them. The caseworker didn't mention if that meant just making the visit longer than one hour, or if they are requesting overnight visits. The caseworker said, "Of course we at the department and I as the caseworker are not going to approve that," (meaning extended visitation) "and are going to fight it and discuss our reasons with the judge whenever we have another hearing."
She went on to say, "All of the five children are doing very well at their current placements, and we are so happy with where they are now. We don't want any of them to move." She had told us from the beginning that the intention is for the children to be adopted by their current foster homes, and that they will block any attempt to reinstate the kids into the former home.
As a foster parent, your job is to care for the children, love on them, guide and raise them, until their parents and home situation have been rehabilitated enough to enable a return. The department is very open with the fact that placing children back into their homes of origin is their main priority. As much as you agree or disagree with what's happening in the case, as a foster parent, you have to respect that.
We've of course been saddened with our two situations where children have left our home and we disagreed with the outcomes - Spunky Girl and Preemie Boy were reunified with their birthparents, and Baby Girl was given to her maternal grandparents while her birthmother continued services. I have to admit to a twinge of selfishness that says, "But we're good people! We're good parents! We're the better home!" Yet, as I said, you respect the caseworkers' and the lawyers' decisions regarding what's best for the situation, and continue to pray for the best outcome.
In this case, we definitely, absolutely feel that the children should not be reinstated at the former home - and that's not the selfishness speaking. The more I read and reread the case file notes we have, I can't fathom any judge hearing what happened to these five children and allowing them to return to that environment. I can't and won't share details in this forum, but these are my gut feelings.
It was nice to hear from the caseworker that she's echoing our sentiments. It was also nice to get a chance to chat. My husband and I both agree that we can handle almost anything thrown at us on this crazy journey as long as there's plenty of communication happening on all sides.
The Man of the House is taking off early from school again to drive the girls to San Antonio for their visit tomorrow. I pray that it is a good occasion for the twins to reunite with their siblings. We're also planning a get-together with the siblings later in the month, which we're also looking forward to.
Thanks for reading!
She told me there are no court dates scheduled yet for the future, which is a little surprising, since usually the hearings happen every six to eight weeks, in our experience. There are also no other visits planned at this time beyond the one tomorrow afternoon in San Antonio.
The former family who was caring for the five children has requested of course to speed up reunification, and also to have lengthened and extended visits with them. The caseworker didn't mention if that meant just making the visit longer than one hour, or if they are requesting overnight visits. The caseworker said, "Of course we at the department and I as the caseworker are not going to approve that," (meaning extended visitation) "and are going to fight it and discuss our reasons with the judge whenever we have another hearing."
She went on to say, "All of the five children are doing very well at their current placements, and we are so happy with where they are now. We don't want any of them to move." She had told us from the beginning that the intention is for the children to be adopted by their current foster homes, and that they will block any attempt to reinstate the kids into the former home.
As a foster parent, your job is to care for the children, love on them, guide and raise them, until their parents and home situation have been rehabilitated enough to enable a return. The department is very open with the fact that placing children back into their homes of origin is their main priority. As much as you agree or disagree with what's happening in the case, as a foster parent, you have to respect that.
We've of course been saddened with our two situations where children have left our home and we disagreed with the outcomes - Spunky Girl and Preemie Boy were reunified with their birthparents, and Baby Girl was given to her maternal grandparents while her birthmother continued services. I have to admit to a twinge of selfishness that says, "But we're good people! We're good parents! We're the better home!" Yet, as I said, you respect the caseworkers' and the lawyers' decisions regarding what's best for the situation, and continue to pray for the best outcome.
In this case, we definitely, absolutely feel that the children should not be reinstated at the former home - and that's not the selfishness speaking. The more I read and reread the case file notes we have, I can't fathom any judge hearing what happened to these five children and allowing them to return to that environment. I can't and won't share details in this forum, but these are my gut feelings.
It was nice to hear from the caseworker that she's echoing our sentiments. It was also nice to get a chance to chat. My husband and I both agree that we can handle almost anything thrown at us on this crazy journey as long as there's plenty of communication happening on all sides.
The Man of the House is taking off early from school again to drive the girls to San Antonio for their visit tomorrow. I pray that it is a good occasion for the twins to reunite with their siblings. We're also planning a get-together with the siblings later in the month, which we're also looking forward to.
Thanks for reading!
Monday, December 2, 2013
A Funny - Can You Relate?
I had to add this funny to this blog, because I feel like this is exactly how our mornings go! It just seems like one thing after another trying to make us late! And I don't do late well! I was raised to be obsessively punctual and being late is a big pet peeve of mine, and I know I don't handle delays well.
The other morning, sweet Miss A said, "Mommy, I think Daddy should start driving me to school when he goes early so you don't get dizzy."
I laughed and said, "Get dizzy? What do you mean, honey?"
"Well," she answered, "You have to get all four of us kids ready, then drive me to school, then come back home, then get me after lunch... You must get dizzy with all of that driving around you do! I think I should just go with Daddy from now on."
I gave her a huge hug and was humbled by her compassionate spirit.
So blessed...
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