Miss A's Story

Here is a somewhat longer look into the story of our first foster placement and subsequent adoption story. I can't and won't share some details, as they are private to Miss A and her story, and legally to the case itself.
We finished our training, interviews, inspections, and home study finally sometime in July of 2009. We were told that our file was officially complete and we could potentially be ready for placement any time now.
Hubs and I were so incredibly excited to be ready. We had worked so hard since January to get everything completed and checked off of the list. At this point, it had been almost three years since we had begun our journey toward parenthood. (I may cover our infertility journey in detail in another post I may share at another time.) To me, the entire time felt like intense waiting, even though really we had been actively working with the foster care program for seven months. Some handle waiting better than others; I am not one of those people!
During the last week of August, we received our VERY FIRST CALL for a placement! It was for a 6-month-old Hispanic baby girl. I remember racing out of my youth ministry office across the hall to Hubs''s classroom, my heart racing, palms sweating. We could potentially be parents at this moment!
When I called our caseworker back to follow up, she told me that a placement had already been found in that short time for the little girl. She explained aspects of the placement process that I hadn't realized: most of the time, for a foster care placement, a case is brought in, and any caseworker that has a good match of a family can "claim" it, so to speak, first come first served. Your caseworker may contact you about a child, but other caseworkers are doing the same thing. We hadn't realized that, as we had the picture of a "regular" adoption agency, choosing "just the right family" after carefully narrowing it down. In these placements, action needs to happen quickly, as the child/ren may need a home that very day, or even that very  hour. Sometimes there's not the luxury of a long matching process, but simply quick responses.
That afternoon, feeling a little dejected, I received another CALL. This time, it was for a family of THREE! A sibling group consisting of a kindergartener, two-year-old, and infant needed immediate placement. Without even consulting Hubs, I told her that three would be too overwhelming at this point, but to keep us in mind in the future.
Labor Day Weekend happened following this weekend. We have a loose tradition on Hubs's side that we more often than not rent a beach cabin at Crystal Beach near Galveston over Labor Day Weekend. We talked with his parents and siblings about THE CALLS. I remember venting, "This is just taking so long!" However, just the fact that we had had some contact with placements, and how excited both of our families were, helped us have good attitudes while we kept waiting.
That Tuesday, which was September 8th, my birthday (!), I checked my e-mail sometime during the course of the morning and saw a placement notice for a 19-month-old girl. I sent a quick response saying we were interested and then ran across the hall to tell Hubs about it. After missing the 6-month-old baby girl last week from not moving quickly enough, I was determined to get in touch with our caseworker as soon as possible! Our caseworker, Kelly, said that several families were in consideration for the placement, and a decision would be made sometime soon.
Sometime later that afternoon, after a lunch I barely tasted and constant checking of my phone and e-mail inbox, we received THE CALL that the little girl was ours! I remember running into Hubs's room shrieking, "You're a Daddy!" I went around telling the whole staff at the church/school where we worked, caught up in a whirlwind of excitement. It goes without saying that she was and is the best birthday present I've ever received!
Kelly explained that Miss A had been removed from her home two months previous and was currently in a foster home placement. The case was progressing, and it looked like an adoptive home would be needed eventually, and the home she was currently in was only a fostering home. There was still almost a year to go until a decision would be made about her permanent placement, so nothing was guaranteed to us. We arranged to see Miss A for a one-hour visit that next Monday at her caseworker's office, then take her for a weekend visit that following Friday.
We arrived for the first visit and were buzzed in through the doors to the back where the offices and visiting spaces were. It was such a surreal moment, knowing that in just a matter of seconds, we would see our first child. Filled with these thoughts of the gravity of the moment, we approached the visiting room. However, when we walked in, Miss A barely paid us any attention! We were just a fixture in the room that she tolerated when we tried to pick her up at the end of the visit for a picture.
Little miss had physical challenges as well as speech challenges ahead of her. One leg turned at a strange angle from an underdeveloped hip combined with lack of use, and she only spoke three words: "puh-puh" (puppy), "cup", and "more". Her blonde hair, big brown eyes, and shy smile captured our hearts immediately; we couldn't wait to take her home.
It was hard to leave her for four more days until we saw her again. We drove back to the office on Friday after school to take her for the weekend. At the exchange, we spoke with the caseworker and foster parent, and a plan was made that, if Miss A adjusted fine, we would not return her to the foster home after the weekend as planned, but begin her time at our home for the long haul. This was incredibly good news, as we were having a hard time thinking about leaving her again after the weekend.
She did great as we put her into the car seat, and as we drove down the road. We kept expecting her to cry, but she simply looked around and took it all in.
Halfway home was a little barbecue joint on the side of Loop 1604 outside of San Antonio - Texas Pride. We had planned to stop here for our first meal as a family. Our Pastor had recommended it to us, and we were looking forward to trying it. We beamed with pride every time someone came up to compliment our little girl - she was oozing smiles and charm all night to everyone!
We expected for the other shoe to drop all night, so to speak, and for her to realize she was with people she didn't know, in a place she didn't recognize. We got her home, and showed her the house and her room and toys. After playing a while, it was time for bath and bed - and wonder of wonders, she fell right asleep with no fuss! (Of course at the time, we took the credit for being such amazing parents - especially for first-time parents! - and our egos have since been deflated, five kids, four years, and MANY bedtimes later!)
For the next five or six months, we kept up the pattern of monthly caseworker visits and three or four visits back to the caseworker's office for Miss A to meet with her birthparents. The case plodded along, and nothing drastic was happening. In the Spring, birth dad started missing visits, and soon after, birth mom stopped coming as well. Pretty soon, they had missed so many that they were cancelled. Court dates came and went, but we didn't have to appear because they were held in another county more than an hour away.
In August 2010, the trial portion was set. We were expecting for parental rights to be terminated and to move forward with the adoption. However, birth dad didn't show up and his lawyer was able to file for an extension. It took until the next Spring to officially have the court terminate the rights of Miss A's birthparents.
At that point, we began working on the adoption, updating our home study,  getting an adoptive caseworker, etc. Finally, on September 7th, 2011, in front of our Texas relatives, we officially became forever parents to our little girl. On the way back home, we stopped at the very same barbecue restaurant where we ate with her on our first night together as a family.
We are so incredibly blessed for this little pistol of spunkiness and sweetness, who made us a family after waiting for so long for that dream to come true. We love you so much, little one!