Monday, March 23, 2015

Don't Stop Believing

The girls' court hearing happened last Wednesday. Where to start...

Neither of the girls' birth fathers showed up. The birth mother arrived 30 minutes into the hearing.

The hearing part went fairly according to plan. The caseworker and lawyers announced the plant to move towards terminating the rights of the biological parents in July if changes and progress aren't made and maintained. Like I've mentioned before, Mom has been only sporadic in completing what's been asked of her, and the fathers have done nothing and are not even in communication with the caseworkers and lawyers at this time. The official status of the case is now "dual contingency" - meaning they are preparing for either reunification or termination at this point - which is a change from the past, where the status was only "reunification" - and is the step before officially seeking termination.

Our next - and final - court date is July 9th. This is the trial to determine the ending of the foster care placement one way or another; either the girls will be reunified with their birth mother or the birth parents' rights will be terminated and we will move towards adoption. We thought there would be another hearing at the beginning of June, but as that is so close to the July 9th date, they are foregoing another hearing and just scheduling the trial. In case you're wondering, "trial" doesn't usually mean a jury setting, just coming before the same judge who has been hearing the entire case, and getting a final ruling.

One tiny snag entering into the situation is that father #2 is now claiming he is the biological father of BOTH children instead of just one. We have been trying to get DNA testing done the entire 6 months to prove paternity, and he has been a no-show at both appointments the department has set up for him to be tested. Hopefully this can be done soon and we can know for certain. He has been listed as an "alleged father" in the court documents and included in the court ordered services list the parents have to complete (of which he has done none). He needs to prove he is in fact the biological father of one or both girls to be termed the "legal father". He does have parents he wants to go through the home study process to determine if custody could be awarded to them, but that won't happen until he goes through the paternity test.

I can't talk much here about what happened immediately AFTER the judge dismissed the people involved in the case... it happened very unexpectedly and quickly, apparently... but the birth mother will not be in the picture now for an indeterminate amount of time. An issue came up that we don't know much about, but suffice it to say that it strengthens the case further for terminating the rights of all the birth parents.

There is definitely a twinge of guilt feeling happy over something that means the misfortune and unhappy circumstances of others. While we are filled with joy at moving towards making these girls part of our forever family, we can't forget this will be complicated for them to process - lots of emotion - and comes at the expense of another family falling apart. That's hard to contemplate. I found this quote recently, and it really spoke to me:



Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we all function towards whatever ending God has planned for us. We ask to be the people He needs us to be at this time. Please be thinking and praying for the birth family. Through all of the bad choices, there is regret and pain, and it hurts to watch. Peace to all involved.

Thanks for reading!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Dates for Court Appearances

I have a few updates about the court cases for the girls, and how things are panning out, so I thought I'd share!

We have some dates on the calendar -
Status Hearing: Wednesday, March 18th
Permanency Hearing: First week of June (TBD)
Trial: Thursday, July 9th

The hearings won't be any decision-making dates, but the Trial is when the final decision on the case should be made.

Of course, we know from past experience not to hold our breath when court dates are announced. But, it seems like the case is getting fairly "cut and dry" at this point, so hopefully there won't be any delays in making a final decision.

We had a meeting with the girls' lawyer yesterday, and with their caseworker today. Mom and the two dads are not sufficiently cooperating with their service plan and what is expected of them. Both lawyer and caseworker are agreeing that we're moving towards termination of the birthparents' rights. The first step is to have the judge agree to a change in plan, which may happen at the March court hearing, or may happen at the June court hearing. Either way, that's just the change in the goal of the case, not the final decision. We've had it explained, of course, that rushing anything isn't the plan, and we want to avoid anything that can end up as grounds for an appeal later.

One good note from the caseworker today is that she let me know the courts are now working on expedited adoption finalization for children who have been in care for 6 or more months, once termination of birthparents' rights happens. In one case the other day, a judge ordered the adoption consummation to happen within 40 days after the termination trial. That's good news that we could be on a fast track for adoption, assuming the termination does definitely go through. We would LOVE that, since Miss A and Little Guy both had a year-long adoption process following termination!

Please continue to pray for peace and strength for all involved. I know that our joy is someone else's pain, and that hurts. Having the girls stay with us means they have to say good-bye to their birth family. It's challenging and complex on all sides, and God has really opened my eyes to having compassion for "the other side", even in the midst of annoying waiting and trials we're experiencing. Please keep this family in your thoughts as they struggle, as we all do.

Our world is broken and messy, and we all just need to be broken together!