Trial Dates Are Set

The twins' court hearing happened today to announce further dates in the trial. I ended up deciding not to attend, since it was so far away and no discussion was really taking place there. Here's what came out of the day:

•  May 29th: Mediation Hearing (Lawyers, caseworkers, and family members come together to work on details of the trial, including potentially settling out of court - which is highly unlikely to happen)

• June 9th: Trial will begin at District Court 

We also learned the unfortunate news that the foster family caring for the other sibling group of two has given notice that they would like the children to be removed and placed with another foster family. This is obviously very disappointing, since we already knew that Big Sister has changed placements already because of various issues. These kids have been through so much in their short lives, from being removed from their home of origin, to being removed from their potential adoptive home, to being put in a shelter before being placed into foster homes separately...  Aching isn't the word to describe how my heart feels for these five kids.

Apparently, though, at the court appearance, it was discussed that WE would be the best and most logical placement for these two children. So when the lawyer called me to relay the dates of the trial, she asked if we would be willing to take them on.

Uh, wow.

My head was spinning in so many directions. (It still is, several hours later.) This would mean SIX kids under the age of six in our home, when we had only two with us five months ago. That would mean, besides the twins, Little Guy, and Miss A, we would have a 1-year-old as well as a 3-year-old who is literally only one week younger than our son, which would be virtually like having two sets of twins. Ai-yi-yi.

Realistically, we need to say no. We can't overburden our already busy and overflowing household. It wouldn't be unfair to Miss A and Little Guy, whom we KNOW will be with us for the long run.

And yet, my heart breaks to have to decline. The fact that these kids are separated through no fault of their own pains me. I want so badly to say yes. I want to give them the love they haven't known yet. I want to know they will understand what "home" really means. I want them to know what "safe" really means.

Aaahhh.......

Please don't think I'm absolutely crazy for having even considered this. I am not in denial about how hard it would have been to make this a reality. From housing to transportation to emotional stability to marriage health - it would be incredibly complicated, I know. Yet, my overwhelming feeling is guilt at my human frailties, disappointment at NOT being able to be a Superhero and make this happen for these kids.

Anyway, it's always an interesting ride here at our house. We know that God has blessed us with this life, and we are so honored and humbled that He has entrusted us with the kids we have, and the gifts He has given us. What a comfort to know we are never alone.

We'd appreciate prayers for the entire situation, all of the upheavals and uncertainty of the future. The story has already been written - we're just awaiting its playing out.

Visitation 2-20-2014

The saga continues with one more visit today for the twins and their former caretakers. There isn't really a lot to report, as I just dropped them off today and a transporter brought them home. Nobody but the front receptionist was there at the office and she took the girls back to the visiting room and I left. I tried calling the lawyer and caseworker and left messages asking for updates, but I haven't heard anything yet.

We have less than a week to go until we hear when the dates of the trial are. We're really debating if I should attend this hearing or not.

On one hand, just showing up says that we are invested in the case and care about the outcome. If I went, we would hear everything first hand and not have to rely on the lawyer and caseworker to pass on any information.

On the other hand, if the only purpose of the hearing is to announce the trial dates, and I am not going to be able to make any contribution by my presence, than it would be probably best to not go. Arranging childcare for the day and driving all that way is sometimes an annoyance.

So, nothing new to report.

Well, actually, both girls came home in the clothes they were wearing when I dressed them this morning, which means they had no accidents during the visit! They continued their awesomeness by not having any the rest of the day, either! Back on track! Woo-hoo!

Visitation 2-17-2014

It was with slight sighs and rolling of the eyes that we took the twins in for a visitation today. Selfishly, we had wanted today to be a full holiday for our family and had planned to be together and do something fun, the six of us. However, this date worked for everyone else involved, so we made it happen too, and it wasn't a big deal.

Little Guy and Miss A were treated to the San Antonio Children's Museum while the twins were at the visit. It is such a neat place. The kid-powered elevator is awesome to see at any age. Our kids especially love the child-sized grocery store in the basement. If you've never been there, and you have young kids, it's definitely worth the visit! Here's the website: www.sakids.org

After playing for several hours there, we took the kids to a Mexican restaurant we were unfamiliar with on the River Walk. It was a beautiful day to sit outside, overlooking the river, counting the boats that floated by, eating chips and salsa. Well, Little Guy actually just ate salsa. Actually he drank it straight from the bowl. So silly!

It was priceless to get some alone time with the oldest two and my husband. I love watching them get older, and how they are becoming their own little people. We had such a blast together. I feel so blessed.

The girls each had one accident during the visit, which the lady walking them out made sure to tell me. (I still can't figure out if she works for the clinic that is supervising the visits or if she's a therapist overseeing the case or something else. She's always there to take them in when we drop them off and brings them back out when we pick them up.) That's an improvement from last week. They have been doing so well at home with potty training - maybe each one has an accident every other day or so, and only if they don't make it to the bathroom on time.

We're back at it again this Thursday for the final pre-hearing visitation. I haven't heard how they have been going. We're supposed to have had someone visit our house as well, to see the twins in our home environment as compared to in the visits, but that hasn't happened or been scheduled.

Till next time!

Visitation 2-11-2014

Extended Visitation #1 took place today. I got the directions, plugged them into my phone, and headed towards San Antonio. The visits are happening not at the CPS office where the other visits have occurred, but at a secondary site that happens to be a few minutes closer to us, which definitely helped with the drive. We pulled in a few minutes early - score!

The location is not affiliated with CPS, but a third party site, which I assume they use as an objective measure of evaluation for the court reports. The idea was that these longer visits, 4-5 hours, would be observed by therapists and anyone else who would be making a report for evidence in the trial. I didn't meet anyone who would fit that description; a woman greeted me when I brought in the kids and she had them ready when I came to pick them up again.

When I asked her how everything went, she replied that the girls had had several accidents and the dirty clothes were in the bag. She said this a little short-mannered, as if it had been a big deal, so I just casually replied, "Yes, they're potty training, and although they're doing great, if they don't get a chance to go every 20-30 minutes, they won't make it. That's why I packed so many extra clothes and underwear!" I tried to sound bright and positive, even though I had gone over all of this beforehand and specifically cautioned them all to be aware that the girls were in underwear and not diapers. The girls have actually been doing great at home and aren't having lots of accidents any more. Oh, well, hopefully next time is better.

She then said, "And they were bringing up the rash on one of the girl's leg." I replied that it is eczema, she's had it since we got her, it's coming and going no matter what lotion or cream we put on it, but she saw the doctor about it before and it has improved a great deal since November.

I want to stay positive, but it irks me that what appears to be happening is that the previous caregivers are looking for anything and everything to criticize us in order to make themselves appear better. This isn't the first time they've had an issue they brought up - which always turns out to be something really silly that is blown up to a bigger deal than it needs to be. All we can do is continue to be pleasant and calm, and not rise or be defensive. I would be definitely upset if my kids were removed from my home, and I would be doing whatever I can to get them back, I'm sure. It is what it is. We've learned to not let it get to us and just move on.

The lady didn't have anything else to say about the visit, and I haven't heard from the caseworker or lawyer about how it went. There will be two more long visits next week and then court on the 26th.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement, everyone! God is good, and He knows exactly how this will turn out! May He bless your day!